Sunday, February 28, 2010

ZeroBear Arrives at ISS
by ZeroBear

It's true! History has been made! I am here! We probably should have sent out a news release because evidently no one knew I was headed toward the Spacey Station and we only managed to get minor coverage of my arrival to the International Spacey Station by PolyAnimal Planet News this morning and a 15 second blurp in CNN. 
Thanks to a chance shot by a passing NSA spy satellite, Here is the arrival of USPS Priority Mail space delivery vehicle #1 with commander George the Postman at the controls as he moves in for docking with the ISS mailbox, early this morning 03:59:27 hours CST, at a point somewheres over the Pacific Ocean.

The Spacey Station crew was all asleep when I got there and so MailMan George left the Priority Mail delivery on the doorstep. Apparantly the package containing your's truely was too big for the ISS curbside mailbox and it seems the $5.00 postal fee the chipmunks paid did not include the Post Office's "Priority Ring the Dang Doorbell" service. It's lucky I am able to hold my breath for a long time, because since I arrived on a Sunday morning after a latenight Laker's game the previous evening and an old John Travolta movie, it was like 8:30 in the morning before Commander Jeff Williams stepped out the kitchen door into open space to pick up his Sunday Morning paper and found my Prioroty Mail package lying there on the stoop.
Here is a somewhat surprized ISS Commander Jeff Williams in his official ISS jammies welcoming America's first (and the world's most famous) AstroBear PolyNaught, ZeroBear, esq. to the ISS. I'll tell you that PolyNaught ZeroBear has not yet developed his space legs and seems to be having trouble staying upright. This is actually the second photo taken. The first was discarded because PolyNaught ZeroBear was in the process of urping on some electronic thing that really sparked and smoked as the ISS photographer snapped the initial shot. Evidently they don't like to show photos of space urp or electronic gear shorting out, unless it's a Tom Hanks movie.

As with all famous Space Explorers, PolyNaught ZeroBear made a historic first statement upon exiting his only slightly damaged Priority Express Postal Service Package into the Spacey Station. Flight controllers in Houston, TX recorded PolyNaught ZeroBear's first words for humanity as he said:

"That's one small delivery for USPS. What's for Breakfast?"

There will be much more from the Spacey Station. They has lots of computers and high speed interwebs service here and I'm going to log me some chat room time before everyone wakes up. I wonder where the Klingon's sleeping quarters are?

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