Friday, March 30, 2012

What do you do?

When you seem to be stretching your
food budget to the max?

when you ask for extra pickles in a way that
upsets your chef?

When you're all dressed up with nowhere to go?

When they don't like your new friend?

This isn't Friday the 13th - is it?



Good - I could use me some good luck today.

Did ET Really Go Home?

You decide

I think it's someone's granny

or ET.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Henry V at the Battle of St. Crispin by the Shakespearean Penguin Players

Henry V
by William Shakespeare
Act 4 Scene 3

(to lay out the scene)
Henry and his troops are about to go into battle against
the French on Saint Crispin's Day. His Cousin Westmoreland
laments the fact that he wishes for more Englishman to join
the beleaguered and badly outnumbered English forces in
battle against the French.



O that we now had here

But one ten thousand of those men in England
That do no work to-day!


In response to this,
Henry address his cousin


God's peace! I would not lose so great an honour
As one man more methinks would share from me
For the best hope I have. O, do not wish one more!
Rather proclaim it, Westmoreland, through my host,

That he which hath no stomach to this fight,
Let him depart; his passport shall be made,
And crowns for convoy put into his purse;

We would not die in that man's company
That fears his fellowship to die with us.

This day is call'd the feast of Crispian.
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,

Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd,
And rouse him at the name of Crispian.
He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say 'To-morrow is Saint Crispian.'

Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars,
And say 'These wounds I had on Crispian's day.'

Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot,
But he'll remember, with advantages,
What feats he did that day.

Then shall our names,
Familiar in his mouth as household words-
Harry the King, Bedford and Exeter,
Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester-
Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red.

This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered-

We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;

For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;

And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.


A cultural presentation by ZeroBear PolyBear, LLC.
all rights and a few lefts reserved.

Culture from the Shakesperean Bear Troop

Macbeth - Act 2 Scene 1

Is this a dagger which I see before me,
The handle toward my hand?
Come, let me clutch thee.
I have thee not, and yet I see thee still.
Art thou not, fatal vision, sensible
To feeling as to sight? or art thou but
A dagger of the mind, a false creation,
Proceeding from the heat-oppressed brain?


Hamlet - Act 3 Scene 1

To be, or not to be, that is the question:
Whether 'tis Nobler in the mind to suffer
The Slings and Arrows of outrageous Fortune,
Or to take Arms against a Sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them: to die, to sleep
No more; and by a sleep, to say we end
The heart-ache, and the thousand Natural shocks
That Flesh is heir to? 'Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To die to sleep,
To sleep, perchance to Dream;

Ay, there's the rub,


Macbeth - Act 5 Scene 1

Out, damn'd spot! out, I say!

from Bears
How fortunate thou art.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Isn't He Sweet!

Have you ever seen a cuter little firebreather?

I found him and Da caught him in the back yard,
lounging in the sun on the compost pile
behind the pole barn yesterday.

Of course he

Grows up into this

and then tries to eat Japan.

So I guess there's a possible downside
 to keeping him as a pet.

I told Da he'd make a good charcoal lighter for
the BBQ pit during his juvenile years.

Anybody know what he eats?

I'm thinking a hotsauce based diet.

I have him hid in the sock drawer right now.
Mumzie wouldn't be all that pleased if she found
him inside the house - her no-fire rules and all.
I know he's still in there because occassionally a little
whiff of smoke comes out the crack I left in the drawer
so that he won't smother.

Anybody got a good name for a fire breathing dragon?

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

I just love the Sonic Corporation

They are the most considerate people a PolyBear
would ever want to do business with.

(You might want to click on the photo
to get a better read of the sign)

Lets do an honest evaluation


Yeh I'll give him that

Subject of fan adoration?

Yeh, they know how to work a crowd.


They only eat bamboo and have zero interest in waffles.
I know because I asked, so I gotta say yes.

Dumb as dirt?

You decide - I already have an opinion.

Monday, March 26, 2012

So cute!

Ever wonder what's actually
on folks minds as they hug?

I figure he's thinking

"You smell good.
I will eat you one day."

I can feel his pain

Poor Guy

Breakfast time and no breakfast in sight. You patiently
wait, plate in hand,or in this case plate in mouth, because dogs
got no hands (duh). Anyhow, it grows later and later

(tick, tock, tick, tock) 

 and where the heck is Muzie with them waffles?
The least she could do is get her PolyBear a glass
of chocolate milk to tide him over don'cha think?


That's not a plate that puppydog has?

What the heck is a frizbee? Is that like an omlet dish?
Because I don't like omlets all that much.

Anyhow. I wish Mumzie would get cracking with my waffles
because we're burning daylight here and I have rats to kill.

Wait, I hear rattling noises coming from the kitchen.

Later, guys.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

How often do these things happen?

I'm in uncharted territory here
and I guess I could use some help.

How often do these things happen?

and is there any way to trace fingerprints when a suspect
- let's just stick with that and avoid any mention of a
certain PolyBear - any way to trace fingerprints when the
PolyBear has no fingers?

Do I need a lawyer?


Any Lawyers out there?

Can A PolyBear like claim 5th ammendment rights?

Saturday, March 24, 2012

It's Saturday - Saturday - Saturday

And a beautiful spring day here

The azaleas and dogwoods are all dressed up.

down the street you can hear

Mr. Rolston cutting his grass. He has the best yard
on the street.

Did you know you can get a robot to cut your grass?

Da says our yard is too big for that thing

I have no idea what FluffyKitty would do if a robot
Lawn Whacker got after him.

Oh - I got off track - Back to Saturday.

The birds are all having breakfast at the local
all you can eat cafe.

The squirrels too. That's George, enjoying
the first meal of the day at Da's squirrel proof feeder.

And me?

What's on my mind on this beautiful Saturday morning?


Wonder when Mumzie is going to get up
and get my Breakfast?

Also I think there is a Shawshank Redemption Marithon
on TBS today. As an ex-con, I know how Andy Dufresne felt.

I too was framed...

Friday, March 23, 2012

Are you visitor # 15,000 ?

If you are it is your lucky lucky lucky day!

(check counter over there >>>
and down a little to see if it is you)

I swoon in envy at your good fortune.

If you are #15,000 you have absolutely won one
of the following prizes (to be selected for you by
March 2012 ZeroBear PolyBear Give Away Scam, LLC)

You have won either

A swell speed boat for your off shore pirate adventures

or maybe

An all expenses charged to your credit card trip to
Hawaii or New Jersey,

or maybe

3.8 million dollars in Gold Bullion

or possibly

Most of half of a tasty Raspberry Zinger!

Here is how you claim your gift:

Send a scream print of the page, showing you as
visitor number 15,000 to the blogsite. The print must
clearly show you screaming to be considered valid.

Accompany the print with a certified cashiers check
for $87,235,416.29 to cover shipping and handling
Made out to ZeroBear PolyBear March 2012 Interwebs
scam, LLC. Send it Care Of Doug the Bartender, Cactis Jack's
Bar, CaveMan Island, Bahamas.

You know what? Forget the print. Just send the money. 

Notice - we reserve the right to substitute this swell stick

or a stick of similar construction in the likely event that I
eat the rest of my zinger snack before someone
responds to the March, 2012 give away scam offer,
because anything could happen.

Quite frankly I am amazed at your good fortune!
How can you be so fortunate?
Why can't I be as lucky as you?

Alternate Transportation

Da refuses to buy me some wheels!
It's not like I asked for much. 

After carfeul consideration and the advice of a GranTour
Racer who reads the blog daily, I decided on this simple
red ride.

Da caught me ordering it with his credit card

late last night. He pulled the plug on My Machine and
said no way. I think he is being unreasonable.

He gave me some alternate options.

1 - I can have a Bike and get a job until I have enough to
buy my own car.

This immediately came to mind. How's a world famous
PolyBear going to lower himself to honest (sic) labor?
Just not fair.

2 - Then he said I could go this route

There is no way I'm going to stare at the east end of a
west bound horse all day long.

3 - Then he said if his those were not to my preference

I could employ the extended thumb method,



Do you know what TP&W means?

I almost can't say it, it is so bad!

Oh well, you shoudl know what a Bad, BAd, BAD
person Da can be.

TP&W means

"Take Pains & Walk"

Anyone need a nice PolyBear house guest?

If you do, please send a photo of your wheels,
your flashlight collection and proof of insurance
coverage for PolyBear house guests.

It would help if you had a good waffle iron, too.