Wednesday, September 12, 2012

38,000th Viewer Contest

You know what?
Yep, I figured you did, so I'm going
to change up the scam
contest a little this time.
Everyone is elegible
for a winner's prize this time.

Just send me
$237,892.13 to cover shipping and handling
cash only - sorry no checks accepted because
this guy tried to stiff me last month.
Claimed he was former head honcho of the Fed, too.
Teach me to trust a quasi governmental politico.
I hacked into his facebook account
and fixed his wagon though.
You'd be surprised how easy it is to alter a photo
 with any of Adobi Corporation's fine line
of graphic alteration tools
(available at your fine local Barner and Nuble
store conveniently located in your local strip mall.)
Anyhow, to everyone who comes across with the cash
our awards committee ChairBear will carefully
select (just for) you one of the following swell prizes:
Maybe this honey of a speedboat.
You might win this speedwagon in the color of your choice.
or maybe
This slick piece of carbon fiber flying stuff. 
It's certainly my favorite give away prize 
and it might be your favorite, too.
or for a limited number of winnners
Possible permanent ownership of this
Unique masterpiece to be relocated from
the Louvre to your diggs by an art thief friend I met
in a chat room the other night.
Or perhaps
One of these custom grown Gourds.
or a gourd of similar design and size.
Just look at how happy that lucky winner was
as he attempted to select his prize.
just send your money and we'l get right to work
ordering your gourd or the Jet/Boat/Car/Mona/whatever.
I wish I was a s lucky as you guys.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Life in a computerless world

Over the past few days. I have
experienced what Blog Life without a
computer would be like.
All 12 (14? 13?)of you who follow the blog
probably have experienced some of it, too.
Has contracted with SlowPoke Computer Repair
to have his machine put back in order. All they will say
is that it is "Very Sick".
How was I to know that clicking on
a website named
would cause any problems.
Oh well...
Did you know they have computers at the
public library.
They also have a sign that says
"PolyBear Use Not Permitted"
Evidently they are not only unable to forgive
they are also slow to forget.
I will always maintain it wasn't my fault.
It was an assident and although the
Grand Jury did discuss the incident, the
records clearly state that no charges were ever filed.


Friday, September 7, 2012

There is Foot Ball Tomorrow

In lots of places I have been told
Tonight Too?
Even Sunday?
However let's stick with college ball.
Who'da thunk they play football
Out Up there in Oregon?
Their guy looks like he has anger issues to me.
Here it's
the Good Old
Mississippi State Bulldogs
"Go Dawgs!"
VS the
West Georgia
(I sense an identity crisis down there)
I think that is their mascot
but tomorrow
This guy may be more their style!
I hope...

Is there a doctor or priest in the house?

I guess I'm in trouble.

Da says I must now use the word "again"

I'm in trouble again.
(satisfied Da?)
Anyhow, I was just surfing around in the
pink lady chat room the other night.

Looking for some action with my best
Pink Lady Friend, Shiela.
!!!! HooYa !!!!
And Da says I picked up a virus on his computer.
I wasn't trying to pick up anyone.
All I know is now when you turn the dang thing on
This pops up and the machine locks.
Da says that something is Festering on the
Anyone know
an Exorcist?
Or maybe
a virologist.
Anyhow. I have snucked into the neighbor's house
to post this.
Interesting... does anyone know how to open
 a safe that probably has lots
of interesting stuff inside?
As long as I'm already in here
I have the time to investigate.
Apparantly they are in Chicago all weekend.
Slipping past the alarm system was easypeasey but
that safe has a certain PolyBear
(who will remain nameless) frustrated.
I forgot...
I picked up just the thing for an uncooperative safe.
I ordered it two weeks ago and have it hidden under a tarp
out in Da's polebarn waiting for a problem just like this.
You can't go wrong remembering the 
Boy Scout Motto.
You don't know it?
Well, take notes Tenderfoot
because there will be a test.
"Walk softly and use a long fuse." 

Wednesday, September 5, 2012


Unless you are in a cave,
you probably know that

it's Football Season.
Well, it is, even if you
don't live in a
One of my favorite parts of the entire
fall football experience is
If you love big crowds and
swell eats, You would enjoy tailgating too.
There are lots of food options
for the tailgating fan.
Cake stuff
Chips of all types
and if you drop by our tent
early enough
you might get
some of my
I like them fancy when we go tailgating.
Da says I must yell
Go Dawgs!
at some point whenever I post Football stuff.

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Any Music Lovers Out There?

My friend, George is a musician.

He is trying to start up a
band and wondered

if he could

drum up any interest here.

Oh man I just kill myself sometimes.

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Everyone likes sunsets

over the ocean


everyone likes puppies.



thought I'd

give you

a sunset

over the ocean

complete with a


Sure wish he would
move over just a tad.

Friday, August 31, 2012

It's Finally Here!

Da is so excited he can bearly stand it.
Me too. - especially the bear part.

And so - Here they are.
The New Guys in Town
The Big Guys in Town
The Hoooo Dats?
West Georga's WarEagleTigerPlainsmens
Another school with an identity crisis
The BBQ on the hoof guys
Da's Favorite (mine too)
The Bully Dogs
Woof! Woof! Woof!
YEeeeaaaAaaaaaAaaaaaaa !!! Bulldogs!!!!
There is an SEC Eastern Division?
Oh Them
cool your jets just a minute
Also Rans...
Wanna Bees

What's as pretty as a beautiful sunset?

A beautiful


And what comes right after sunrise?


Its gonna be a good good day.

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Ask ZeroBear

Oh Mr. ZeroBear,

Can you help me with a question
I have pondered for a long time
with no clear answer?

What is the singular premise of
our existence in the universe?


William - A fellow seeker.


Dear Willie,

You don't mind if I call you Willie, do you?

You know, I gott'a say,
I think you look more like him than he did.

But I bet you already knew that.



Sure, I can do that,
as long as we keep it simple
because it's all simple.

I think that to him, we are a lot like


And yet he remains interested in each of us.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Does anyone know

what's going on over in Alabama?

Do they have giants over there?

Why would I be asking that?


Just look at what I saw
headed in that direction Saturday morning.

Have you ever seen a

roll of toilet paper this big before?

I figure giants be living over there.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

A moment of admiration

For Mumzies everywhere.

You go girls!

I bet she took that lad home and made him

some waffles for dinner.


Gotta love'em.

Monday, August 27, 2012

Housing Option #14

Oh those Realtors.

There is one in New Jersey
who knows how I feel about

the coming Zombie Apocalypse.


Yep, and
I hope you are prepared

I know


I am ready,

As are lots of

my blog fans.

Anyhow this realtor in South Carolina found the perfect
property for Zombie protection.

I know they can't swim and I assume
They don't own boats. 

Do they?

My hope is if they do they will get eaten by a big old

shark wile trying to boat out to get me.
I know you're asking
How will I get out to my island fortress and back
to Mumzie each morning for

Well, I
haven't quite figured that out yet.

But I'm working on it.