Polar Bear Buddies Protecting Us

from Big Black Swimming Things
by ZeroBear

The photo of this USO (Unidentified Swimming Thing) was e-mailed to me by a bunch of my Polar Bear Buddies from way up North. Seems that they were out on snack patrol and this big black fishy thing popped up out of the ice. Their first thought was, "Must be somethng good to eat," and so they went over to have a bite. Much to their surprise, not only was it too big to eat, it was also too hard to eat - with skin as tough as steel. Not much fishy flavor for a fish, either.

Anyhoo, turns out the Guvernment says it was a good old US Navy boat, something they called a submirine. Must have been lost because it wasn't close to a seaport at all, unless you call the north pole a port, which it isn't. Anyhoo, after a while, it left (must have been taking on water, becasue apparantly it sank) and after that the big old hole in the ice it made when it popped up froze back closed and they (the polar bears) went back to looking for fruits and vegetables, fish and lard balls, which (link) is evidently what Polar Bears like to eat.

I bet those navy guys thought they had done something special swimming under water all that way north to where they came up. Wonder how special they felt when there was a pack of Polar Bears got there first and was waiting on them.

Wonder if Submirines carry boxes of Chef Boy-ar-dee Lard Balls as freebie snacks for any Polar Bears they might find when they come up through the ice into someone's back yard?

I tired to wake up Mumzie late-late last night when I found this photo in my e-mail Inbox, but she pretended she was too sleepy to come look at it on the puterscreen and said if I didn't go away and leave her alone, she'd sub-my-mirine. Anybody know what that means? I goggeled it and got nuttin.