Zero's Horrible Friday the 13th on a Saturday Day:

by ZeroBear

I just knew something bad was going to happen today. IT always does when Friday the 13th falls on a Saturday.

Anyhoo, I was hiding in the closet in teh front hallway, thinking that I would manage to stay away from teh evilness that always happens when Friday the 13th falls on a Saturday. Then, a little after noon, the door opened, Mumzie grabbed me and started toward the (gasp) laundry room!

She had that look in her eye and the words that strike fear into a little polybear's heart came out of her mouth. "You need a bath and you're going to get one this afternoon."

It was time to put my foot down, and dag-nab-it, I did. "NooooooOOoooooooooOOOOOOOO! I don't need or want a bath and you can't make me take one!"

Moments later the sweater was being pulled off my poor little polybear body.

and I was tossed onto a pile of blankets and bedspreads. What could a little poly bear do? It was Friday the 13th on Saturday. All sorts of bad things were likely to happen, on such an evil day, especially to a poor little polybear.

"Ugh! Laundry Soap up my nose. Stay out of teh eyes! Oh no! I'ze gettin all wet! Halp!"

"Hold breath. Don't breath. Gag, sputter, urp. Someone's going to pay for this. I will get even with you guys. You'll be sorry when I drowns!"

"Oh no! I'ze getting swimmy headed dizzy. Stop this spinning thing! Somebody! Stop! I'ze gonna urp!"

"Huh? Is it over? Did I survive? Where's my sweater?"

"No - wait! Take me out, too. Please don't be leaving me in here. I'll be a good PolyBear. I won't run around the house turning lights on in the middle of the night. I won't leave cabinet doors open. I'll stop turning teh Toilet Paper roll around. I'll stay off e-bay. I'll do anything! Please don't leave me in here!"

"Jeepers, I forgot about the dryer. Hea, I don't mind being damp. I'ze not really wet at all. Honestly, this little bit of dampness will go away sooner or later. Really - I'm fine!"

"Dry at last. I bet the dust mites are gone, too. I see the wash didn't cure this darn yellow leg. Could a polybear maybe get his sweater back?"

"Ya know, I smells pretty good. Wanna take a whiff?"

"Uh, Anybody see my sweater?"

"No thanks. I can put it on all by myself."

"Hope this thing didn't shrink, cause it doesn't feel like I did."

"No. Really. I'm doing fine. Just give me a minute. Uh, could you push me back up on the top of the dryer a little more?"

"There's the nose. Just a little bit more. Just a sec."

"RazZle. FraZZling POx!

Uh, could a polybear get a little help? Somebody's falling off the dryer here!"

"Whew. Good to go."

"What's that? Oh No! Is that what I think it is?" 

"Hmm? Smells familiar."

"So, anybody know what's on TV tonight? Could we order Shrimp and Sausage Pizza? Deep Dish would be nice. I'd drink a diet Dr. Pepper, too if there was another one in teh fridge. Anybody see my hat anywheres?"