Monday, February 8, 2010

Bear in a Moat?
by ZeroBear

Not to worry - this is not me! I have been receiving e-mails from worried fans that I somehow fell into the moat at the Milwaukee zoo and can't get out.

A few things you need to know:

1 - The guy who fell into the moat is a POLAR Bear. I am a POLYBear. There is a difference! Wikipedia it if you don't know.

2 - The bear that fell into the moat is 12 feet tall and weighs 1,600 pounds, give or take. I am 11.6645 inches tall and weigh 0.53668437 pounds. give or take.

3 - The bear in the news report lives at the Milwaukee Zoo. I have never been either to Milwaukeee or to a Zoo. I live on top of Da's Chest of Drawers, and sometimes in his Bark-o-lounger recliner in teh den.

It is interesting that the bear in Milwaukee was playing with a toy when he had his accidental tumble. Sadly I have no toys. Should anyone be interested in remedying that, PLease send any shootsguns or pistoleas you might want to share with a poor toyless little polybear my way. You can mail them care of Mumzie or Da. Please mark teh box "Open by ZeroBear Only" because We don't want to alarm Mumzie who has this thing about armed PolyBears running around the bedroom after lights out shooting away at bumps in teh darkness.

Da sometimes gets up to go potty in the night. I bet me patrolling the bedroom with a 20 gauge pump would quickly bring an end to that old geezer habit.

I am happy that other Zero Bear was not hurt. As I understand this is the second time he has tumbled into the moat. Although my spelling is not teh best in teh world, I am not so dumb that anyone would need to put a net around my chest of drawers to catch me shodl I take a tumble. I can't say the same for teh Chipmunks.

I copied and pasted this from teh article:

"Zero's regular diet includes fish, fruits and vegetables and lard balls."

Fish and Lard balls? Yummy. but this PolyBear can do without them fruits and vegetables. I'm a meat and lard ball man myself. Wonder if they feeds him Gefilte Fish? Yummy! I likes me some Gefilte Fish every once in a while.

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