Monday, April 30, 2012

You must know this

There is simply no way to justify what I am
about to share with you today, plus you probably
already know that I am not in the business of justifying
what I post, so get ready because here it comes.

Once again, your government has been caught
carrying out horrible genetic experiments

In top secret research facilities.

Once again, the chief investigator

of ZeroBear PolyBear News Services, LLC
has uncovered, dramatic photo evidence from
the interwebs showing the levels government scientists
will sink to in order to complete their attempts to create
horrible monster genetically altered creatures for who knows
what reason.

How do they do it?

Radiation? Maybe

Horrible naturally occurring chemicals? More Likely.

However, regardless of how they are doing it,
you must be told that our government is trying to
alter the genetics of humanity.

Get ready.

Womens, childrens and sissy men might want to
not look at the following photo of the horrible cross
species experimental life forms that have been created.

If this is too much for you, remember,


shocking isn't it!

This must be stopped.

As long as you guys just sit back and say
nothing, ths will continue.

You have been warned.

Sunday, April 29, 2012

College Anyone?

May is not that far away.

You know what that means?

All across the nation, bright eyed young scholors
will graduate...

and step into the unemployment line.

So, should you go to college?

Da did. He graduated from the university 
and every day he trucks off

to put in his time in the salt mine.


I am a graduate

of the school of Hard Knocks

So, how am I doing?

I have worked my way into success as a

head snack eater

TV Critic
(needed a PolyBear character)

Corporate chief of Home Security
Go ahead - Make my day.

famous adventurer.

Explosives Research Expert

Blog writer with untold numbers of followers
(at least 12)

All in all,
Not Bad work if you can get it.

Good luck new graduates. 

Saturday, April 28, 2012

I have been thinking about team work

and how badly we all need to do our part

to make the team a success.

I know I always try to do my part.

As for me, there is no

"I" in ZeroBear.

There is no M either.
Or any 5s.

Just one Z, 2 e's 2 r's, and a and an o

Oh, yeh and a B

Friday, April 27, 2012

Ask ZeroBear

What do you think they are saying, Mr. ZeroBear?

"You said this would be a good shortcut?"

or maybe

"No you go first. I wouldn't think of taking
firstees away from you."

Is this kind of stuff supposed to happen?

Everything seems all messed up.

It's like we got

Cats sleeping with dogs

Spiders swarming over the world

Locusts eating everything in sight

Ducks in trouble

Rugs that look just like FluffyKitty

I sometimes think if it weren't for Duck Tape,
the whole world would sling apart.

Duck Tape,
holding the world together
since 1948.

Available at fine
home improvement centers

Terrorist Turtles Discovered

The result of an indepth investigation
is the following startling evidence obtained
by ZeroBear PolyBear International
News, LLC.

No wait, that's not it.


Wait, that's still not him...

Here he is

Yes, a well concealed small group of terrorist turtles
are working to undermine the peace and destroy
our way of life.

No longer will you be safe to go to the place of
your chosing.

with you family.

No longer will you be able to enjoy

life as we know it, if these terrorists are not stopped.

We have so little time to respond

Act today before more of them arm themselves for

The photo didn't post?

Dang computer. I have no idea why Da doesn't get
him a better interwebs conection. How's a PolyBear
supposed to get his work done?
Here it is.

If you see any of these guys, report them immediately.

I'd go ahead and call Homeland Security today and just
have them wait on the phone while you go out back and
have a look see. You can never be too careful.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Fast PolyBear

I ordered a pair of these
the other day

Just makes me feel faster

I may go out for the olympics running team

Duck Tape

According to the National Duck Tape
Alliance, this is national fix it with Duck Tape

Yesterday, when we signed the under the table
agreement that resulted in this post,
their representative reminded me that there are
many swell uses for this mend it and fix it adhesive

For example:

Did you know?

You can fix a fence with duck tape.

Did you know?

Duck tape is the base material for the fancy
party dress of any well dressed woman.

Did you know?

You can use it to fix your car.

Did you know?

The International Space Station was put together
with Duck Tape.

Did you know?

You can make a swell hat with Duck Tape.

even for your cat.


It's not called Duck Tape?


Duct Tape?
Duct  Tape?

I don't think so.

Duck Tape.

If it needs fixing,
Duck Tape is the go to tool
for the smart repair guy or gal!

Available at your friendly local
Ace Hardware store, and fine
home repair supply retailers


Want to advertise your product on a
widely read Blog Site in a classy manner?
ZeroBear PolyBear Under The Table Payola
Advertising Services, LLC can make it happen
for you too.

Contact us today!


Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Ask ZeroBear

"Mr. ZeroBear: I will graduate from
The University of Oregon (Go Ducks!) in a
couple of months and am unable to find
suitable employment in my chosen field.
Can you help with any career suggestions?"

Phillip Smitherman - Portland, Oregon

Good question, Phillip. I know lots of recent
graduates are having trouble finding jobs.

I have an thought (it could happen),
but let's seek the help of our readers,
because four heads are better than one.

Anyone know if there is a future for new
college graduates in this line of work?

What line of work, Mr. ZeroBear?

Duck Herder.

I just quack my self up sometimes.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

And you thought sharks would eat you

You know how I feel about sharks eating you.

Now I have found even more (maybe better) reasons
to stay out of the ocean.

Apparently you can get eaten by a sea monster

Here is another warning by the government

"Here Be There Sea Monsters!"

And the Summer Get-Eaten-By-A-Sea-Monster
season is upon us!



Ask Mr. ZeroBear

"Why should I stay out of the water in Africa
Mr. ZeroBear?"

Good question.

Here is

22 feet and 2500 pounds of reason to
stay away from the river.

Any more questions?

Monday, April 23, 2012

This post has no subject

And no real photo documentation.

which is good, because if it had

some of you wouldn't be able to stand the shock.

All I can say is it is your lucky day.

For those who go away angry if they
don't get to look at something shocking
while they are here
(you know who you are)

Here is some dirt for you.

Did you know?

That if you leave your bike leaning against a tree
and look the other way, the tree will eat your

Well, now you know!

ZeroBear PolyBear Educational Services, LLC

Working to make the world a less dumber place

You're welcome

Sunday, April 22, 2012

I have no meaningful explanation at the moment


here is photo proof.

They are training secret agent turtles
to ride motorcycles.

This kind of stuff is happening
and you needed to know.

I ask you -
Who is watching the government?

ZeroBear PolyBear, esq.
is watching 24/7

that's the kind of PolyBear I am.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Is there a doctor in the house?

My buddy George isn't feeling well this
afternoon and he could use some advice.

He won't listen to me and my hope is
that he might listen to some of you.

He hasn't been himself for weeks now.

It started as a feeling of malaise.

He said he just didn't feel right.

It wasn't really anything
he could put his finger on,

but he just wasn't 100%.

I told him he needed to see someone

but would George listen to me?

Let me be as blunt as possible.
Nooooooooooooo. George refuses
to listen to his very best friend in the world.

Now for the last few days he won't
even discuss it with me.

So please - just for me, take a look and tell me

Does he need a good multivitamin?
Or maybe some Iron Tonic with his breakfast?

One of FluffyKitty's Adventurous Friends


has friends?

Yeh I know, but he really does

Here he is at the side door to the garage the
other night with one of his friends.

Anyhow, his friend's name is MommyKitty

Here she is at the back door. She lives out in the
pole barn because she is a little wild. Mumzie
feeds her at the patio door, which makes this about
the closest anyone can get to her.

MommyKitty can be adventurous at times.

She likes to walk the top of the brown patio screen
(that brown screen thing)
in the mornings so that she can survey her domain.
Maybe she's looking for something like a mouse
or Cow or Moose to pounce on and eat - I don't know.
The long range photo shot is because She won't let
anyone get close to her.

She hero worships me

because I like to walk the screen in the dark to survey her
domain. There were no Mooses this night to pounce upon.

Lucky thing for them.

Yep, what you see is what you see.
I do not use a safety net!

ZeroBear PolyBear the amazing adventurer!
I live for this stuff!