Saturday, October 15, 2011

10 Books About Bears

"A Bear called Paddington"

Started life as an orphan, just like your's truly. Hit it big in the big time. 50 Years at the top of the pile, multiple books credited to his brand and I think a movie or two - Nice hat by the way. Mr. Google gave this Dude his own Header - I is impressed. Cudos, Dude!

"I Want My Hat Back"

I don't know this dude, but I admire a good tragic storyline and this looks like a story about a bear who lost his hat. Sounds like a tear jerker novel steeped in tragedy to me. I'd read it, but I couldn't stand it if the dude never gets his hat back, so I think I'll wait for the screenplay.

"Three Stories You Can Read Your Teddy Bear"
Cute Bear - Mumzie reads the paper out loud sometimes.
Maybe she will read me a story if I ask real nice.

"Sleepover Larry"

I has never met this dude, but a Polar Bear is always welcome at ZeroBear's House. Nice JammyShirt and the hat is classy. I has one a lot like that, except mine is different.  Give us a call Larry come on over one night and we'll sit up late and watch an old Grizzly Adams Movie. That brown bear sidekick he has is a real hoot. I'll have Mumzie whip up a mess oh waffles for breakfast. Most days, she'll make as many as I can eat, which is about three. Specially if we has chocolate milk, which is most days, cause Da likes it, too. You looks like a ten or twleve waffle bear (just observing life as I see it). If you come for an sleepover, you needs to bring your own flashlight because Da always turns out the lights about 10:00 pm - always.

"The Bears We Know"
Evidently the Dudettes who wrote this nice lookin book knows three bears. I can see that one of the bears has a neat hat. Nice vest on the guy on the couch, but I likes my sweater better. The boots is a little yellow for me, but they look OK on him.

"Christmas Time With Mr. Bear"

This one has it all - good cover design, nice illustration, a well dressed bear - granted he is not a PolyBear, but he has a nice coat and a bear always needs to look sharp if at all possible. Also, it's about my favorite day of the year - Christmas - My Birthday! Mr. Bear has honest looking ears, too - probably a good dude with ears like those.

"Polar Bear, Polar Bear, What Do You Hear?"

Interesting Concept - I hear stuff all the time. Would be nice to know what that big old dude heard. Maybe the cracking of shifting ice, the howl of the northern wind, or the bell on a Popsicle truck - my personal favorite thing to hear is Mumzie yelling, "Dinner's Ready"

"The Berenstain Bears"
These guys is kind'a like the bear version of the Waldon family of TV fame, but I don't think any of them is named JohnBoy. They has a pretty good thing going, lots of books, a pajama line at Sears and K-Mart and such, but I understand in private they talks like English High Society. I thinks the country look is a stage presence. LaDeDa!

"Smokey The Bear"

This is a classic! The mostest famous bear around.

"Remember, Only You can prevent Forest Fires!"

 If you build a fire, you better put it out or that dude will run up and whack you with that shovel. Assuming he catches you, that is. Not sure if we would hit it off, cause I has a spotty record with fires of unexplained origin, but I respect his years of duty to the Forest Service. In fact, he is the "Spokes" in SpokesBear. No I don't think he is going to whack that bunny rabbit, but the squirrel better watch himself, cause nobody likes a wiseguy squirrel and we all knows how they can be

Pooh Bear- Need I say more?

This guy is the oldest and the best. He is sor'ta like Moses - been around forever - like since WWI - or maybe 1917, both of which is a long time back. He is an institution - Books, Screenplays, Disneyland, Movies, TV, Comic books, Novels, Action Figures, Jammy Sets, Coffee Cups, Cereal Bowls, Juice Glasses, House slippers. You name it, he did it, and made a buck off it. However I need to say that he was always a good dude who took care of his friends - Tigger, Piglett, Eeyore, Kanga, Roo, Rabbit, Owl, and Christopher Robin - he carried them all to the top with him, and never turned away from those who helped develop the brand into what it was. They did a deal one time where they walked round and round a bush, thinking their footprints was someone else - What a Hoot!  Pooh Bear (or PB as we in the bidness calls him) lives in on the beach in Malibu now and collects antique Harley Motorcycles. Don't look a day older than he did back in the 30s. Kind'a Twilight Zone spooky if you ask me.


There is lots more books about Bears. You wouldn't believe how many they gots. What can I say? Bears is big bidness.

To answer the question I noze all of you has, No, there is no book out there about ZeroBear PolyBear, esq. I has a treatment in the works, sort of like that book about President Lincoln or the one they did on "Elvis - the Vegas Years". There are three unauthorized "tell all" slanderous treatments that I has filed a civil injunction to have banned from print, and a screenplay in the works that I may support if I gets final say so on who plays me. I is thinking Steve Martin cause he makes me laugh.

Ever in service to bears and the Interwebs,
ZeroBear, PolyBear, esq.

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