You will remember the other day I reported
A mighty fine waffle breakfast Mumzie cooked for
me after Da left for the salt mines.
NO WAIT
That wasn't what I reported.
I reported on Sharks swimming up into storm clouds out
in the Pacific Ocean and riding the clouds all the way to
Kansas or Georgia where they would then drop out of
the cloud and eat you in your front yard.
This is the evidence of where a 12 foot long Great White
Rattler Moccasin Shark fell out of a storm cloud
and eated (ate?) Ms. Sara Jean Williamson as she attempted
to pick a few Poseys to make a floral arrangement decoration
for a Bunko game she was attending that night.
I know. Terrible isn't it? Well I have even more startling stuff for
you news hungry fans of ZeroBear PolyBear News International,
LLP (Under the table financial gifts for strategic product
placement incorporated into future news stories
cheerfully accepted)
Ready?
This next one is bad, Bad, BAD!
Don't say I didn't warn you!!!!
Miss Janet Lee Jemmison was seated in her
living room knitting her dear 96 year old mother a
new leather jacket for an upcoming cross country
Harley Davidson Motor Cycle trip with the
weekend motor cycle group she ran with
(Central Tennessee Desperadoes), when a 42 foot long
Great White Shark (yes I know!) came crashing
through the roof of her apartment. The beast took her
out in one violent chomp. Sadly there was nothing left of
Miss Jemmison but the pair of Chambers Court Master
low quarter Tenney Pumps (available at a shoe store near you)
she was wearing. Although Miss Jemmison was gone, gone gone
the shoes (excellent quality foot wear at an affordable price,
available at a shoe store near you), survived intact.
YOu are not safe!
Be Afraid. Be very AfRaiD!!!
And please consider the purchase of a pair of one
of the many fine products of the Chambers Shoe Company
this weekend.
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