I'm not sure you're ready for this,
but somebody has to tell you guys the truth
to keep you from going out and doing something stupid,
like getting eaten alive by a monster.
Alert reader Miz. E. Fensterwaller, from
WallerWaller, WA sent me this information today.
Evidently a TurkeyZilla Monster has been stalking the
woods and forest glades in the greater
Waller Waller metropolitan area for the past few months
eating all of the unprotected
corn and any loose
bread left on the ground
This startling photo
was the last shot taken by famed naturalist photographer
Wilbur Wallace, evidently just as he was being mistaken for
a piece of lightbread by the horrible turkeyzilla monster.
Witnesses have worked with law enforcement sketch artists
to come up with a likenesses so that the wilderness loving public
will know when they are about to die.
We share that likeness with you here.
As a public service.
Warning for Children, Womens and Sissy Men.
You may want to avoid this last photo
of turkeyzilla in action on the west coast.
Oh the horror!
What will San Francisco do now that he is among you spitting
life ending fire at your buildings?
TurkeyZilla
Be very afraid.
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