Friday, April 6, 2012

Its a Scary World Out There

Do you know how many monsters
there are out there?

How do you people go outside?
It can't be that you're smart.

Look at this stuff.

Great big lizard dragons eating jet airplanes.
You aren't even safe flying.

Humongouse Flying Bugs that when they aren't trying
to eat jet eating dragon lizards are trying to eat you!

Hugefferous Ape Monkeys that Eat Dragon Lizards,
Jet airplanes, Womens and probably every bananna
on earth!

Great big living under the ground but willing to sneak
out and eat little PolyBear wrinkled rock boogers
This one is named Rancor and he scares the
begeebees out of me.

As if all this isn't bad enough

Last night I found this one on the interwebs.

This monster is evidently so bad, they can't even figure
out a name for him. I'm thinking he got bit by a radioactive
cucumber or an alien space squash.

I will name him.

He is now MegaEatChicagoMan

As near as I can tell, he is about 300 feet tall and
headed toward Chicago, a city he intends to eat,
starting with

17,943 Italian Beef Sammiches with wet brown stuff in a cup,
2,398 bottles of Tums for the Tummy tablets and then the
Shedd Aquarium. From there? Who knows?
I'm thinking a stroll up Clark Avenue
to eat Wrigley Field!

If I was anyone in Chicago, I'd leave town.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

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