You must know this

There is simply no way to justify what I am

about to share with you today, plus you probably

already know that I am not in the business of justifying

what I post, so get ready because here it comes.

Once again, your government has been caught

carrying out horrible genetic experiments

In top secret research facilities.

Once again, the chief investigator

of ZeroBear PolyBear News Services, LLC

has uncovered, dramatic photo evidence from

the interwebs showing the levels government scientists

will sink to in order to complete their attempts to create

horrible monster genetically altered creatures for who knows

what reason.

How do they do it?

Radiation? Maybe

Horrible naturally occurring chemicals? More Likely.

However, regardless of how they are doing it,

you must be told that our government is trying to

alter the genetics of humanity.

Get ready.

Womens, childrens and sissy men might want to

not look at the following photo of the horrible cross

species experimental life forms that have been created.

If this is too much for you, remember,

!!!! YOU WERE WARNED !!!!

shocking isn't it!

This must be stopped.

As long as you guys just sit back and say

nothing, ths will continue.

You have been warned.

College Anyone?

May is not that far away.

You know what that means?

All across the nation, bright eyed young scholors

will graduate...

and step into the unemployment line.

So, should you go to college?

Da did. He graduated from the university 

and every day he trucks off



to put in his time in the salt mine.

Me?

I am a graduate

of the school of Hard Knocks

So, how am I doing?

I have worked my way into success as a

head snack eater

TV Critic

(needed a PolyBear character)

Corporate chief of Home Security

Go ahead - Make my day.

famous adventurer.

Explosives Research Expert

Blog writer with untold numbers of followers

(at least 12)

All in all,

Not Bad work if you can get it.

Good luck new graduates. 

I have been thinking about team work

and how badly we all need to do our part

to make the team a success.

I know I always try to do my part.

As for me, there is no

"I" in ZeroBear.

There is no M either.

Or any 5s.

Just one Z, 2 e's 2 r's, and a and an o

Oh, yeh and a B

Ask ZeroBear

What do you think they are saying, Mr. ZeroBear?

"You said this would be a good shortcut?"

or maybe

"No you go first. I wouldn't think of taking

firstees away from you."



Is this kind of stuff supposed to happen?

Everything seems all messed up.

It's like we got

Cats sleeping with dogs

Spiders swarming over the world

Locusts eating everything in sight

Ducks in trouble

Rugs that look just like FluffyKitty

I sometimes think if it weren't for Duck Tape,

the whole world would sling apart.

Duck Tape,

holding the world together

since 1948.

Available at fine

home improvement centers

everywhere.

Terrorist Turtles Discovered

The result of an indepth investigation

is the following startling evidence obtained

by ZeroBear PolyBear International

News, LLC.

No wait, that's not it.

Here.

Wait, that's still not him...

Here he is

Yes, a well concealed small group of terrorist turtles

are working to undermine the peace and destroy

our way of life.

No longer will you be safe to go to the place of

your chosing.

with you family.

No longer will you be able to enjoy

life as we know it, if these terrorists are not stopped.

We have so little time to respond

Act today before more of them arm themselves for

anarchy.

The photo didn't post?

Dang computer. I have no idea why Da doesn't get

him a better interwebs conection. How's a PolyBear

supposed to get his work done?

Here it is.

If you see any of these guys, report them immediately.

I'd go ahead and call Homeland Security today and just

have them wait on the phone while you go out back and

have a look see. You can never be too careful.

Fast PolyBear

I ordered a pair of these

the other day

Just makes me feel faster

I may go out for the olympics running team



Duck Tape

According to the National Duck Tape

Alliance, this is national fix it with Duck Tape

month.

Yesterday, when we signed the under the table

agreement that resulted in this post,

their representative reminded me that there are

many swell uses for this mend it and fix it adhesive

product.

For example:

Did you know?

You can fix a fence with duck tape.

Did you know?

Duck tape is the base material for the fancy

party dress of any well dressed woman.

Did you know?

You can use it to fix your car.

Did you know?

The International Space Station was put together

with Duck Tape.

Did you know?

You can make a swell hat with Duck Tape.

even for your cat.

Wait!

It's not called Duck Tape?

Duct?

Duct Tape?

Duct  Tape?

I don't think so.

Duck Tape.

If it needs fixing,

Duck Tape is the go to tool

for the smart repair guy or gal!

Available at your friendly local

Ace Hardware store, and fine

home repair supply retailers

everywhere.

****

Want to advertise your product on a

widely read Blog Site in a classy manner?

ZeroBear PolyBear Under The Table Payola

Advertising Services, LLC can make it happen

for you too.

Contact us today!

 

Ask ZeroBear

"Mr. ZeroBear: I will graduate from

The University of Oregon (Go Ducks!) in a

couple of months and am unable to find

suitable employment in my chosen field.

Can you help with any career suggestions?"

Phillip Smitherman - Portland, Oregon

Good question, Phillip. I know lots of recent

graduates are having trouble finding jobs.

I have an thought (it could happen),

but let's seek the help of our readers,

because four heads are better than one.

Anyone know if there is a future for new

college graduates in this line of work?

What line of work, Mr. ZeroBear?

Duck Herder.

I just quack my self up sometimes.

And you thought sharks would eat you

You know how I feel about sharks eating you.

Now I have found even more (maybe better) reasons

to stay out of the ocean.

Apparently you can get eaten by a sea monster

Here is another warning by the government

"Here Be There Sea Monsters!"

And the Summer Get-Eaten-By-A-Sea-Monster

season is upon us!

STAY OT OF THE WATER

!!!! THERE BE SEA MONSTERS OUT THERE !!!! 



Ask Mr. ZeroBear

"Why should I stay out of the water in Africa

Mr. ZeroBear?"

Good question.

Here is

22 feet and 2500 pounds of reason to

stay away from the river.

Any more questions?



This post has no subject

And no real photo documentation.

which is good, because if it had

some of you wouldn't be able to stand the shock.

All I can say is it is your lucky day.

For those who go away angry if they

don't get to look at something shocking

while they are here

(you know who you are)

Here is some dirt for you.



Did you know?

That if you leave your bike leaning against a tree

and look the other way, the tree will eat your

bike?

Well, now you know!

ZeroBear PolyBear Educational Services, LLC

Working to make the world a less dumber place

24/7

You're welcome



I have no meaningful explanation at the moment

But

here is photo proof.

They are training secret agent turtles
to ride motorcycles.

This kind of stuff is happening

and you needed to know.

I ask you -
Who is watching the government?

ZeroBear PolyBear, esq.
is watching 24/7

Because
that's the kind of PolyBear I am.

Is there a doctor in the house?

My buddy George isn't feeling well this

afternoon and he could use some advice.

He won't listen to me and my hope is

that he might listen to some of you.

He hasn't been himself for weeks now.

It started as a feeling of malaise.

He said he just didn't feel right.

It wasn't really anything

he could put his finger on,

but he just wasn't 100%.

I told him he needed to see someone

but would George listen to me?

Let me be as blunt as possible.

Nooooooooooooo. George refuses

to listen to his very best friend in the world.

Now for the last few days he won't
even discuss it with me.

So please - just for me, take a look and tell me

Does he need a good multivitamin?

Or maybe some Iron Tonic with his breakfast?

One of FluffyKitty's Adventurous Friends

FluffyKitty?

has friends?

Yeh I know, but he really does

Here he is at the side door to the garage the

other night with one of his friends.

Anyhow, his friend's name is MommyKitty

Here she is at the back door. She lives out in the

pole barn because she is a little wild. Mumzie

feeds her at the patio door, which makes this about

the closest anyone can get to her.

MommyKitty can be adventurous at times.

She likes to walk the top of the brown patio screen

(that brown screen thing)

in the mornings so that she can survey her domain.

Maybe she's looking for something like a mouse

or Cow or Moose to pounce on and eat - I don't know.

The long range photo shot is because She won't let

anyone get close to her.

She hero worships me

because I like to walk the screen in the dark to survey her

domain. There were no Mooses this night to pounce upon.

Lucky thing for them.

Yep, what you see is what you see.

I do not use a safety net!

ZeroBear PolyBear the amazing adventurer!

I live for this stuff!