Ask Mr PolyBear

I received an e-mail today asking

how many dimples there are on a golf ball.

Easy Peasy

(Carry the 3, divide by Pie.) = 366

You may applaud now.

I'll let you decide for yourself

"Me? I didn't do it."

10 e-mail answers for today

1. Yes I do have a yellow leg.
2. No it has always been that way.
3. Waffles most days.
4. Whoo'da thunk that.
5. Sure, but it will take more money that that.
6. Next week if all goes according to plan.
7. $55.27 plus tax and shipping - one week after I receive your check.
8. No, you can't have her phone number. She is spoken for. Go find your own pink lady.
9. There is no #9 and never has been, so LEARN TO LIVE WITH IT!
10. I love you too, but sadly, My heart belongs to someone else.

ZeroBear Gets a Job!

I have been looking at career opportunities in our town

and I discovered we have a sad lack of Cat Barbers!

This obviously opens up an opportunity for a smart PolyBear

to make a buck, so I have started a new career

as a cat barber.

I ordered me a good book on barbering
 

There wasn't a lot of good haircutting information

in it, but I decided to push on regardless.



So I picked me up some barber tools on ebay

and opened a shop

complete with special offers in the window.

Here is some of my better work so far.

Sadly, not all of my work has ended in perfection.

We might as well get this out of the way and move on.

FluffyKitty had a friend that was one

of my first customers.

Before

After

Do you know the difference between a bad haircut

and a good one?

About six months.

My world record attempt

I'm sure some of you already knew this,

but famed beer maker Guinness

publishes and maintains the official record

of world record holders. As I researched the

Guinness records I found all sorts of interesting stuff.

Here is the

World's biggest and smallest horses

(can you guess which is which?)

I picked them out right away

because I'm a pretty smart PolyBear!

Here is the world's biggest pizza.

biggest apple

and biggest liar.

I am working on making the world's

Biggest aluminum foil ball

I managed to get mine up to about eight inches

diameter before we ran out of aluminum foil.

My problem is Mumzie, who refuses to buy foil more than a roll

at a time from our Piggley Wiggley store. And she gets

suspicious at the smallest little things, like what happened to

the roll of foil she bought last week.

Anybody want to ship me a roll? As near as I can figure

I need about 6,874 more rolls to get my foil ball up to

Guinness Record size.

Anyone know if Alcoa Reynolds would sponsor me? I bet they

have lots of rolls laying around their factory that they aren't

selling to Piggley Wiggley.

Breaking News

This is Sonya "Black Widow" Thomas

She is the current Guinness Record holder

for Tater Tot Eating. As I understand, Sonya established
her record by eating 250 Tater Tots in 5 minutes.

I plan on taking her down. In fact, let me go ahead

and let the world and Sonya know,

"You is mine, Sonya!"

Anybody know how many Tater Tots is 250?

Is that more than an extra large Sonic order? Because

I can eat almost a whole order all by myself.

Taking a break today

I'm taking a day off today and decided that

I'd just post a few of my favorite shots from the

last year for your viewing pleasure!

Enjoy.



See you tomorrow, unless it gets really boring today

SSsssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhh

Its really late at night here

Mumzie and old what's his name are asleep,

so we gotta be quiet or we'll wake up Da and he 

can be sorta growley when you wake him up at night

We've had an incident or two when he got all waked up in the

night that didn't turn out very well.

Anyhow, I'm putting in a little Puter time tonight

Working on the old blog page

Doing a little research

and chatting on the pink lady chat page.

That's Miz Shiela. She lives in Vegas

and is a really sparkley lady.

We chat all the time. For some reason

she thinks I look like this. I think a virus

attacked my photo the night we shared pictures.

CONGRATULATIONS IF YOU ARE VISITOR #10000!!!!!!!

If the counter shows that you are visitor #10,000,

you are our lucky winner!

You may have won one of the following prizes!

If you are the lucky winner,

please send your name and address

with a certified cashiers check

for $637,972,483.29 (to cover shipping and handling)

to ZeroBear PolyBear Offshore Numbered Bank Accounts, LLP

P.O. Box N Caveman Islands.

(fine print follows)



We reserve the right to substitute pancakes in cases
where your actual prize was already eaten
before your claim was entered and your
check deposited in our offshore account.

I wish I had your incredible luck!

Horrible Government Experiments Exposed!

By Ace Reporter

ZeroBear PolyBear, esq.

Should we be allowing our government to do stuff like this?

You tell me...


Photo harvested form Interwebs, so it must be true.

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ZeroBear PolyBear News Services International, LLC

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