Tuesday, November 22, 2011
I Didn't Know
But I bet some of you do.
Know that is.
I has had a complaint from a loyal reader, from not so far away, who says that I didn't give them equal coverage and the truth is that I didn't, but I still has time to, so I will.
I will do what?
Cover Mama Meatza's ground breaking work when she developed the MeatZaPizza
No wait, that's wrong. That isn't what they wanted. It was something else.
Oh yeh, I remember. Here is a hint
Nope, it's not the NASCAR Wash Pot 500 race next April at Talladagger Racetrack.
We is going to talk about the Classic Alabama Contest of Grid-Iron will known as the Iron Bowl.
Did you know I once lived in Alabama? Well I did. Mumzi and Da and I lived a little north of Highway 80, with a big yellow dog named Pete
and a Gray FluffyKitty named PorchKitty,
which by Alabama Constitutional Edict maked us Bammer Fans.
Gray FluffyKitty didn't make us Bammer Fans, Where we lived did.
As I understand, Section 46D, Ammendment 156 of the 1926 revision of the Alamaba Constitutional says:
"If you lives north of highway 80, you is required to be an Alabama fan and If you lives south of Highway 80 you is required to root for Auburn, under penalty of Out-law-ism should you fail to know where highway 80 is and falls in sports love with the wrong team."
That means (by law and penalty of public ostrization) we lived and breathed all that big Al stuff
and the toilet paper tied to a box of Laundry Detergent.
I is certain you noze that there are peoples who live south of Highway 80 in Alabammer.
They is required by Law to be Auburn Fans. Being an Auburn fan is tough, cause they is the
Who uses the cry, "War Eagles"
And they lives on "the mostest beautiful City on the Plains"
so they is also the Plainsmen.
It is all very very very confuzzuling.
But we is here to talk Football.
Big Al and the guys from T Town is coached by The most nobelest Roman of them all Nicus Sabanus
Uh, we needs to be delicate here, Nicus Sabanus is the short one. The really big dude is Terrence Cody, who's momma likely had big grocery bills when he was growing up.
The Plainsmen Tigger War Eagles is coached by
Gin SwizzleStick. I think that is right. He is the dude who lookes like one of them guys in blue and orange has gastric difficulties resulting in Methane Gas Elimination. I is not allowed to use the term "Stinky Fart", so you will need to figure out that wierd expression for yourself.
Sometimes Good things happen to peoples and last year Gin had a good thing happen to him.
Gin's good thing was named CammeyCam Newton.
His Daddy calls him Fig (and mealticket), but I don't.
Like all good Football Rivalries, AL and Au hates each other. And they fights hard hard in the Iron Bowl for Bragging Rights
Their Games is legendary tests of determination and will
And the fans have been known to take it personaly.
I don't know why this guy tried to kill them trees
The Toilet Paper would have killed them eventually
As near as I can tell, AU and UA is not actually rivals.
If I understand it right, AU claims GA as their rival and AL claims the Dallas Cowboys.
Good luck guys and may the best team (which most years is Alabama) win this coming Saturday.
I has already received a protest from the Red Stick Tiggers