Friday, November 18, 2011

Happy Birthday Louis

Happy Birthday to You!

Yes Birthday Fans, its time to break out the cake

and fire up them candles, cause my good buddy, Mr. Google tells me that today is the Birthing Day of Mr Louis "One Shot" Daguerre.

A special header on his interwebs page is always a dead giveaway that Mr. Google has something to tell us!

Yeh, I know.
Me too ... Howsomeever,
A quick interwebs search revealed that Mr Daguerre is the dude who invented the MeatzaPizza!

No wait. That was Momma Meatza.

Mr Daguerre invented the

Dauguerrotype! which is French for old weird out of focus photographs on metal plates that sell for $136.47 each on e-bay. I bought 56 of them at that price last night on Mumzie's PayPal account to verify that number. 

That's Old Louie up above, shown in a real Dagnguuerrotype, which Mr Google assures me is spelled correctly, cause I was out with the mumps the week that Daugerrotypes was on the spelling test.

Further (Farther?) research has revealed that dangerrotyppes is old fashioned Photos and eventually led to better photos, cause folks took them, but always believed that had their photographer used Kodak, they would have gotten a better shot.

We have lots of things to thank Mr. Daguerre for.

Like Boring Photo albums we is forced to look at when we go to Granny's house.

"This is the street your Great Great Great Great Granduncle Alfonzo and his third wife Sylvia lived on back in the old country. There is a Target Store and a Bowling Alley there now."

We can thank him for wooden cameras with bad lenses like this one, which make us really appreciate Da's camera.

Which is mostly plastic, but takes better pictures that evidently goes to the Interwebs, if you wants them to.

We can thank Old Louie for the HP PhotoSmart Premium

Which is worlds better than Mr. Daguerre's print shop

As I understand, having a Danguerrooeetype made in the way back whens was a real hoot

The first thing they had to do was to screw a big old bolt into the back of your head, so you didn't get too scared and run away after they started. What they were going to do to you that would make you run away, I am not allowed to say.

Suffice it to say that Mr. Daguerre also developed the "Cheesy Gomer" pose being demonstrated by the guy with the bolt screwed into the back of his head in this shot.

A little known fact

Mr. Daguerre also developed the first "Arrow in a photo" as evidenced in this early shot from the Mr. Daguerre Daungerreoutppers archives in some town in France, or Ohio, (I forget). This view is another example of the Cheesy Gomer pose. I think they bolted the guy to the post through his foot.

So, How Did He Do It?

I wondered the same thing. As they say in the Enquirer News Paper, "Inquiring Minds Wants to Know". 

I asked how could one French guy come up with so many Dauggerotmpers developments.

To get an answer, I went out to Madam Linda - "Fortunes Told, Past, Present and Future Illuminated, Tarot Cards and Indian Healing Methods, While You Wait." to get some answers.

She is a nice Fortune Teller lady who lives in a little white Spiritual Retreat House on Jerry Jones Road, just off Highway 437, below Jenkinsville. Madam Linda explained it all to me, for only $50.00 that we charged to Mumzie's Visa Card. She also had this chart printed up for me on her HP PhotoSmart Premium Printer for only $376.74 extra (tax included). I thought it was a bargain, once she explained it to me.

Makes perfect sense when you look at the chart doesn't it? I may sign up for her "ongoing Services Special, for only $396.48 per month direct draft from your Visa Account. With that, I can see her whenever I needs some psychic guidance (three visit per month limit).

Well, if Mr Daguerre was still alive, he would be 244 years old today, which would make him almost as old as Da, but unfortunately, he got the same disease as Mr. Sax, and died of that terrible disease where you turn into Bronze. In an even more tragic turn, A pretty Lady touched him right after he died and she got turned into Bronze, too.

"Oh, cruel fate! Thy sting is harsh and thy taste bitter!"

Any Hoo, Happy Birthday, Mr. Daguerre and thank you for your invention
Most of all for the one I forgot to mention:

The stacked high Dagwood Sammich!
I has a Dagwood whenever I can talk Da into making me one.

Especially nice when he gives me chips to go with it, and a nice Diet Dr. Pepper.

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