Winter Sports

You know winter is almost over now.

Some have e-mailed telling me I did a very poor job

covering winter sports this year. You're correct and

I apologize. I don't know why. Maybe you guys

will let me have one more whack at winter sports

before we start covering spring baseball.

The Iditarod Sleigh Race in Alaska was it's usual big deal.

I have no idea where you go to buy Nike Air Jordan

sneakers for dogs, but evidently you can.

Iditarod racing conditions are fiercely cold

and you can get all sorts of things

frozen off if you aren't really careful.

I asked my editors at the court appointed

Interwebs Censoring Service of America (ICSA)

if I could do a paragraph or two on the Iditarod

Sleigh Dog eating championship,

which is a popular

Polar Bear sporting event held annually and simultaneously

with the sleigh race. They said it would be inappropriate and

would likely lead to further injunctions and possble additional 

fines against ZeroBear PolyBear Blogs International, LLC.

In compliance with that court order I'll just say it is a popular

Polar Bear winter sporting event and leave it at that.

This next event (actual photo follows) is some annual

cross country ski race  (I forget the name) held in

Norway or Switzerland. Thanks MSNBC Sports, Inc. -

Your Interwebs source for winter sports information.

(Not affiliated with ZeroBear PolyBear Sports International.)

Back to the race:

As I understand there are about 11,000 idiots who

sprint from the starting line, trying to climb big hills on skis

and then crash into christmas trees as they attempt 

to go down the steep hills on the other side. It's a

great winter sport to be associated with if you are

a practicing Orthopedic Surgeon in Switzerland. 

The last winter event I have for you today is the Annual

FluffyKitty Cross Country Cat Race (AKA the Snowball 150).

It's held in a big parking lot beside Joe's All You Can Eat

Sushi Grill in Snowmass, Colorado on the weekend after

the 12th of February each year and attended by no less

than 5 or 6 adventurous kitties.

This is Stanley KittyCat. He is a gray stripped feline from Florida

who may well be questioning the wisdom of his last

minute entry after losing a bar bet.

Whiskers here is confused. He seems to have managed

to venture off course and may well be out of bounds,

which will cost him a 45 second time penalty and probably

any chance of winning the Joe's Tuna Roll Trophy for the

fastest time or the Joe's Smoked Eel roll award for the

straightest line through the course.

This is not a racer. This is Amanda PrettyKitty, a staff

writer covering the race for CatSports llustrated. She seems

irritated that she has become separated from her photographer.

It always seems to happen at some point in the really big races,

but controversy erupted this year when three time 150 winner

Sammy WhiteKitty was disqualified for using a 

paw warmer in excess of the allowable BTU limit. Sammy is

seen here leaving the race course in a KittyHuff.

This is eventual race winner Lee HereKitty Jones, as he makes his

initial timed run. Lee completed the 150 yard course in an

amazing 106.887534 seconds, setting a new 150 yard

snow race world record.

HereKitty celebrated by leaving an impressive

yellow patch in the snow before retiring into Joe's

for a saucer of warm milk and a hearty

serving of Mouse Mousse.