Friday, March 12, 2010

Life On Board the Enterprise
By Famous AstroBear PolyNaught and Honorary InterGalactic Federation SpaceGuy ZeroBear PolyBear, esq.
This is an update post from - was it yesterday? Its so hard to tell one day from the next while crusing around in a Farnsworth Berkley Becham Model 12 Time Spacey Continuum or whatever this thing we seem to be caught in is called.

The news is, I'm here! I is on the Battleship Galactica - no wait that's not right, I'm on the Starship Enterprise. Shown above is my welcoming committee, consisting of Captain Kirk, and some other space dudes and dudettes, even dudes with pointy Vulcan ears. Thank goodness that big scarey dude with the black helmet and light saber is gone on Vacation or something. Better for him, though. It would probably have embarrised him to have to say, "You has great power ZeroBear. The force in you is great!"

I gotta tell you, these Star Wars Womens are really cute! Even if they don't wear pink (You're still my one true love Shiela - don't believe everything you hear about a supposed incident in the TrekGlow Lounge Karioke Bar last night. I was innocent and hopefully no charges will be pressed).
These guys (rightly so) see me as a real contender, every bit as powerful a presence as WWF Wrassler Jo Jo the Jamacian Juggernaught. Above, Spock attempts to do a Vulcan mind/leg meld with me and my superior intellect was just too much for his puney Vulcan Brain. Sheesh, had he asked, I could'a told him that. After Cpt. Kirk was able to peel Spock's hand off my leg, breaking him free of the mind/leg meld, for about three hours all Spock could do was walk into walls mumbling "Pronto Pups with double mustard, please".

He's a real hoot - "Poly Bears are not Logical!" What a  hoot! And it wasn't even my yellow leg. Who knows what might have happened had he grabbed the old yellow leg. 
I'm not knocking the Women on the Spacey Station, but Uhura's a real babe. Check out them pipe cleaners! She puts the Uni in Uniform, don't she? And I likes me some womens in black leather military boots too!

There is a major problem though.
She has fallen badly for a certain PolyNaught AstroBear.

It seems to be affecting even her stellar work attitudes on her com station. Just look at how she showed up for work this morning, and so I am avoiding her (well, there was that one time we passed in the hallway). All morning long she just sits there all dreamy eyed in her party down uni, thinking about that wonderful evening in the Karioke bar. In her defense, I does a mean Elvis - probably better than the King himself.

"Don't ever,
Don't ever
Don't ever
Don't ever.
Sometimes won't you
Do it?"

All the Womens love it when I sings that. I had no idea it would affect Uhura so badly, though.


 I see us staying apart as best for everyone. Afterall, we are different species and then she is really tall, even in low heel boots. However, I gotta admit that she is a definate 10 on the intergalactic Hubba Hubba Scale.
You will be pleased to learn that I am getting along splendidly with most of the crew. Capt Kirk says I am the Poly Bear he never had. I call him Cap. Kirksey Poo. He asks my opinion on just about everything - even hotel rates and stuff like that. I think they are having a PolyBear sized uniform made for me out of one of Spock's spare Unis. That doesn't seem to thrill him much. I guess he used to be #2 on the pecking order.

Doesn't seem to bother Uhura much, though.

Hubba Hubba.

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