Housing Option #14

Oh those Realtors.

There is one in New Jersey

who knows how I feel about

the coming Zombie Apocalypse.

Zombies?

Yep, and

I hope you are prepared

I know

That

I am ready,

As are lots of

my blog fans.

Anyhow this realtor in South Carolina found the perfect

property for Zombie protection.

I know they can't swim and I assume

They don't own boats. 

Do they?

My hope is if they do they will get eaten by a big old

shark wile trying to boat out to get me.

 

I know you're asking

How will I get out to my island fortress and back

to Mumzie each morning for

breakfast?

 

Well, I

haven't quite figured that out yet.

But I'm working on it.

Housing Option #13

It's hard to believe there are so many swell housing

options out there. I guess its a buyers market because

I keep getting listing after listing sent to me in the e-mail.

Every night there seems to be another Realtor

trying to send me the perfect house.

The latest thing I received was titled

"Take advantage of this once in

this lifetime Housing Opportunity."

Here it is.

I think they said it was in Kathmandu, Nepal.

Not a bad looking town. Must be north of Toomsooba

because it gets hilly up there and those are some pretty

nice hills in the background.

Apparantly the place comes with a large

servant staff.

That's OK because I like to be waited on.

I'd need to get rid of a few of them, like that guy back

there in row 16 talking on his cell phone. No goofing off

allowed if you work for ZeroBear PolyBear, LLC.

I e-mailed the realtor asking if they were on break,

or what, and she said they were probably chanting.

I can dig that. I chant every Thursday night

until I get the response I want from Da.

Tater Tots, Tater Tots, Tater Tots, Tater Tots,

Tater Tots, Tater Tots, Tater Tots, Tater Tots,Tater Tots,

Tater Tots, Tater Tots, Tater Tots, Tater Tots,

Tater Tots, Tater Tots, Tater Tots...

Unsually after an hour or so, he gets the idea

and invites Mumzie and Me out to dinner.

I wonder if Kathmandu, Nepal has a Sonic

Drive-in because Sonic has the best

Tater Tots.

Anybody know?



Their website

www.sonic.com

doesn't show a franchise in Kathmandu.

Maybe I spelled it wrong.

FluffyKitty suggested I go back and try

Cat-Man-Doo.

- Jeepers -

you wouldn't believe what came up

when I did a search on that.

Do people really...

Housing Options #12

Yesterday I got another e-mail

about a very interesting house.

I think it is in Europe.

You guys can look and let

me know what you think.

The property is nice - scenic - don't you think?

Most of the listing was artful shots of the property

and the surrounding area.

In fact, they seemed to key on it. 

It certainly caught my attention.


The house?


well,


The house was described as a

lovely fixer-upper with strong bones

and a breathtaking view from the

master suite and great room.

***

I have a definite interest in this one.

I always considered myself

a mountain kind of PolyBear

and there is no way of knowing if that

is true until I try it out for a while.

There is one thing I may need some help with.

Does anyone know a reputable 

landscape service in Alpine Europe?

I may need a dependable yard and garden

guy to help me for a week or two until

I can get the lawn in order.

It would be helpful if he listed a little
roofing experience on his resume, too.

Oh, and he probably needs a chain saw.



Housing Options #11

I'm sort'a at a loss.

Should I get a

mountain house

or

something

on the water.

Thanks to avid blog follower, Bubba Johnson,

from Yazoo City, who offered to sell me his custom

watercraft, I did figure out how I could get back and forth

to the water house.



Housing Options #10

Still getting e-mails from Realtors, who
are very hopeful that they can help me.


OK, this one is a little wierd
I actually went to look at it

Modern Day Hobbit?

That's what I thought too.

When I show you, You'll agree.

This is

the guy who owned the place.

and

His wife, who was a lovely lady, but sheeeeeeesh.

Just look at them toezies. Never saw rainbow foot hair either

but there it is.

now

Get ready for a scare.

Hobbit baby?

That's what I thought, too.

Them footzies are scary big. I understand

the hair comes later, thank goodness.

And I was shocked when I came

around a corner and discovered

their

Hobbit cat.

The House?

Frankly I don't have the

toes for it.



Housing Options #9

This one I like. The listing sounds great.

"Peace and seclusion will be yours in

this spacious twentythree room getaway in the

Puedam Mountains of Central Asia.

Anybody know where Puedam is?

Also, do they have a local

MamaMetza Pizza franchise there?

The listing seems to ignore those two important facts

I'd need to have answered before making an offer

on this one.

Good view

Makes my head swimmie though.

Oh yeah, also is it true that

This is the only way up?

Maybe a house with an elevator or a driveway

would be more my style.

Housing Options #8

Condos are always a housing option.

You know this one. We have looked at it before.

It has always been high on my prospective housing list.

If they had just put some sand on the beaches
because I hardly ever get into the water.

And then last night I had a dream
and quickly came to my senses.

 
Yes!

It can happen!

In fact it does all the time!

You know they will hitch a ride
by swimming up out of the ocean into a
low hanging thunderstorm or a passing cold front
and then ride suspended in the clouds for two
thousand miles, staying in the clouds for weeks
just so they can drop out of a passing
cloud into your pond or kiddypool and
then when you least expect it.

!!! CHOMP !!!

That poor lady in Apartment 2804 has no idea as
she walks toward the water for her soothing afternoon dip
that her life is about to take a very bad turn.

Housing Options #7

"Living on the edge is where it's at."

or at least that's what a realtor

wrote to me yesterday

in the e-mail that contained

these houses.

Seems the owners of the red roofed one forgot
which was the front door and which was the back.

Simple error. Anyone could make it I guess.

This is what they need on the back door.

Wouldn't be hard to
get rid of your garbage I guess.

This one is a maybe.



Housing Option #6

Here is another photo that was e-mailed to me

as a possible realestate investment.

This one has possibilities.

Unfortunately it looks really cold and I

get enough cold here at Mumzie and Da's house.

In this case "enough cold"

means too much cold.

This one would work, except Hobbits never put

their property up for sale.



Housing Options # I forget the number

You know, you can be happy

in lots of different kinds of houses.

Take George for instance...

Would you be happy living like this?

George has every right to be crabby all day long,

every day, but he is actually just fine with his digs.



Housing Options #4

I may have found it!

Thanks to a nice realtor person
named Tavish McFeeley,

Yes he does look a lot like that other guy,
but this guy's name is Tavish. No, I have no
idea why he is wearing that dress. I'm just hoping
he knows how to sit properly, because one never knows
does one?

Anyhow, Tavish heard
I had lots of money to put into property,
and I got this one today from him in the e-mail.


Tavish says it's called Eilean Donnan Castle and it's in Scotland.

It was built a long long time ago, and apparently is
still in pretty good condition.

Tavish says it's probably "A wee bit haunted".

I wonder...

does anyone know if

the ghosts are extra or if they are included
in the asking price?

Oh?
Does anybody know where Scotland is?

Is it like between Shuqualak and Scooba?
Because that would keep me within
driving distance of my favorite waffle cooker.

Google Maps keeps sending me to some funny shaped
island out in the middle of the North Sea Ocean, and that's
 too far to drive over to Mumzie's for breakfast in the morning.

Excuse me, I gotta go.

I think I smell waffles cooking.

"No berries for the PolyBear, Mumzie."

Housing Options #3

I had no idea that there were so many

swell houses out there.

Did you know that if money is no option

people will find you absolutely

lovely places to purchase.

Take this one

It's really nice.

But I wonder if there are any

ticks in those woods.

Because I hate ticks.

And

I'm not all that crazy about

Mosquitoes either.

Or redbugs.

Or snakes.

Or Bigfoot

Maybe I need to keep looking a while longer.

Housing Options #2

Yep, I'm still thinking about getting my own place.

A PolyBear should have his own digs, don't you think?

Mumzie is swell, but Da ... what can you say?

Now that the word's out that I'm looking,
I'm getting all sorts of housing

options e-mailed to me.

I'll keep you guys updated as I try to decide which

house has ZeroBear written all over it.


(I didn't do it. I can't even work a can of spray paint.)

Anyhow, A realtor contacted me yesterday and said

that this one

should be on my "bucket list".

What do you think?

There is one downside to the bucket house.
I have no idea where the potty is and that old
saying is not true for PolyBears.

Housing Options #1

Ever since I mentioned may be moving out

and getting my own place I have been

getting all sorts of e-mails from realtors

trying to sell me a house

because everyone knows I got lots of

Investment bucks laying around that
may need laundering.

Here is a pretty good option I got the other day.

.

Not much grass to cut, but I have no idea how

the MamaMeatza pizza guy would get my

every Thursday night delivery to me.

Wonder if he has a boat.

All I ever see is his little red Toyota.

What do you think?