The Art of Hedge Trimming

Topiary Art, that is.

Did you know that if you have a big old bush

Sometimes called a shrub

and a

Sharp pair of hedge clippers

You can make a pretty nice piece of yard art.

Maybe a nice old couple

Or my favorite the North American

BushBear

Heck, properly done they even look good

after a locust plague comes by for a visit.

Here is my effort at topiary creation

A minimalist masterwork

You know you can buy this very piece, or

at the seller's discretion a very similar topiary work.

Only $48,763,488.29

I know - a real artsey bargain.

But you must act quickly.

I only have 145 of these in stock and they will be

quickly scarfed up by discriminating topiary

and avant garde art collectors.

Clothespins

After my last post, I decided to talk a little more
about these nifty little laundry tools.

In addition to clothesline use, they really are useful

as home decorating aids to keep things

where you want them kept.

and they make quick and easy

jewelry accessories

for the do-it-yourself

fashonista person!

So much quicker than piercing.

Plus, they are adjustable.

You're welcome.

Anytime I can help.

Culture education time

Did you guys know that the Mona Lisa

we all have seen was only one of a series

of her that Leonardo did?

Really Mr ZeroBear?

I had no idea.

Well I had no idea either until last night, when 

I discovered the lost Mona painting.

It was being auctioned on ebay.

I got out bid, cause Mumzie's PayPal account

seems overdrawn after my

last purchase.

Anyhow, to keep my peeps up on the latest

art happenings I present.

Mona alone-a

and

the lesser known

but esthetically pleasing

Mona with FluffyKitty

Impressed?

Yeah I was too.

What would you guys do without me?



Origami

I have found a new artsey hobby down at the community

center night art classes. I'm really good at it.

It's called

Origami which is Japanese for folded paper artsey stuff.

The dragon was done by an up and coming, but not as

good as me paper folder in the class I am taking.

Here is a unicorn done by another student in my class.

I told her it was OK so her feelings wouldn't be hurt.

Another student did this Yoda. Again a good attempt

with lots of work, these guys may make it yet.

So,

Are you ready to see the work of a true master?

This one is called "flatness of paper".

Yeah I know... Hold your applause please cause

there's more coming.

Last week, in a surge of design genius

I did this one.

yes it is 100% genuine folded paper

(accept no substitutes)

Lastly

Yeah I know, you can barely

contain your excitement with this

avant garde experimental piece...

at times, I shock even myself.

Sand Sculpture

So, what are all of the beach bums doing

now that everyone knows that going

out in the water is a sure way to get

eaten by a shark?

As near as I can tell there is a worldwide craze

going these days in competitive

Sand Sculpture

where

People take big piles of sand and carve them

into fanciful forms and objects

Some are funny to look at

and others

adventurous

or

Artful

I think they give prizes for the best work at

many of the shows.

I'm considering going into the
sand sculpting business myself.

Here is some of my work

Quite esoteric, don't you think?

And my more extensive use of the medium

I know - pure genius!

When you got it, it ain't bragging!

Today, We proudly present

The art of the automobile.

Movable graphic art at it's very most stylish 

German wheels and frame with an

artful wrought iron covering.

Whoo Weeeeeeee!

Fanceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

 

And my personal favorite...

Wheeled art taken to entirely new heights.



Art in Pittsburgh

The town is full of it.

They have all types

Steel Art stuff that will rust your bottom.

Scary Art that will try to eat you.

Artsy Art

Museum Art

In fact they have so much of it that they

Had to put some on the side of their buildings.

We had a special piece commissioned

while we were there that you should

be able to enjoy.

It's called

Da's Foot.

Lifelike, isn't it!

I have had custom hand colored

prints made that you can add

to your personal Art collection.

Copies can be ordered from

ZeroBear PolyBear Art Works, LLC

just e-mail us and we'll take care of you

(like maybe reporting you to the guys at the funny farm)

only $58,972.27 each

(postage not included) 

Note:

your print may vary from the one shown

in content, size and crayola color used.

We absolutely guarantee it will be hand colored.



And Van Gogh Sighed

At his inadequacy

But he did ok

for a Dutch guy.



Disappointment - How Painful Is Thy Sting

Those of us in the creative arts business must

quickly learn to live with disappointment. Rejection

is a part of what we do.

What seems like perfectly acceptable artful

expression to us may not be what the world

is ready to accept at all.

We stare at the dreaded blank computer screen for hours

looking for the perfectly original first line of our great

American PolyBear novel and then in a flash, our

eureka! moment comes:

"These were the best of times and the worst of times." 

and the world is not impressed.

Rejection happens to everybody and you must

find coping mechanisms if you are to survive.

Friends help in these times of great disappointment.

"It's ok George. Every actor has a bad screen test every

now and then. They were just casting this screenplay in a

different direction. There will be other movies for you.

Your chance will come. I think your feet were very happy."