Boogers

Do you have any at your house?

Well, I need to tell you that

when the lights get turned off at night

we got a house full of them.

There are two for sure.

Da keeps them locked up tight in a cabinet.

He says that they can't get out, but I'm not

so sure, and the cabinet is right across the

hall from my chest of drawers!

They just sit there watching me,

waiting for the house to go dark.

I don't know why we can't leave

a few lights on at bedtime.

What was that?

Morning will come.

Morning will come.

CONGRATULATIONS

You are visitor number

!!! 1,000,000 !!! 

(Pay no attention to that Visitor Counter to the right.)

As such, you are eligible for entry into the

February 2012 ZeroBear Prize Giveaway!

(I wish I was as lucky as you)

We have lots of swell prizes this month

All you have to do is send a certified cashier's check

for $456,986,237.28 (To cover shipping and handling)

to ZeroBear PolyBear's February, 2012 Rigged Contest,

care of ZeroBear's numbered bank account (R18774/ZDP)

ZeroBear Pirate Bank, LLP, 37 Bahama Momma Avenue,

CaveMan Island, Gulf of Mexico.

And we will eventually get around to letting

you know what you've won.

Yes, It's just that simple!

This month only we will accept

great hunking big sacks of Krugerrands

In place of checks.

(Small print note follows)

We reserve the right to substitute

a really nice stick, similar in size and construction

to the one shown, should we be out of slingshots

on the day we award your prize.

We also reserve the right to "Indian Give"

your prize should that be easier of if we can't

find a stick in the yard, which is highly unlikely.

I wish I was as lucky as you!

I bet everyone you know is proud

of your incredible fortune.



Morning e-mail call

Let me take a moment to answer a few e-mails

#1 - Yes

#2 - Yes

#3 - Yes

#4 - Honestly I don't know

#5 - No

#6 - Sure

#7 - OK but not before next week

#8 - Ha that was a good one

#9 - No

#10 - No

Happy to get those out of the way

All e-mials cheerfully answered,

because thats the kind of PolyBear I am.

Need a Joke this Monday Morning?

Da could use one

What a grouch!

Yes it was early, but a PolyBear needs his
breakfast and Mumzie was sleeping so good.

Yes it was 4:00 am, but the tummy was
screaming for waffles.

Here is a funny for you guys, since Mumzie
is still asleep and Da is in his
old haven't had coffee yet grouchy mood.
 

Get it?

Picking his nose in the grocery store?

Mumzie would go bonkers if a certain

PolyBear picked at his nose

in public...



Find the Australian

My kind of guy...

Go Away!

Can't you see I'm busy?

Yes, Da made a Sonic run.

Now Go away!

Tater Tots, Fish Sammich and Diet Dr. Pepper,

if you must know.

Now leave the PolyBear alone!

Ggggrrrrrrrrr!

Harry Potter Marithon.

Leave the PolyBear Alone!

He's taking a night off.

Go Away!



now!

Bears Get a Bad Rap

so many times.

But my experience is that they simply

aren't that bad.

Somebody painted this bear purple

and illegally incarcerated him. Is he angry?

Well maybe. He doesn't look like the happiest

Purple bear I've seen this week.

This bear offers a hearty handshake and a welcome

to the north pole gift to a visitor.

"Hea, Bro, Whaz'happnin? Nice coat.

Pay no attention to that little guy eating your knee."

In another instance, this seems to be one

of the friendliest Polar Bears you'd

ever want to meet.

What?

Oh...

Snacks

You ever absolutely crave a snack?

Yeh, me too.

Everyone has their favorites.

The birds here have been snacking heavily lately

Deer, too.

I have my favorites and will go to great

lengths to get them

This bear seems willing to go out on a ledge for

a snack (click on him to see him better).

The Subject of This Post Would Like To Make A Statement

He wants you to know this.

I said if he would agree to appear as a guest on
ZeroBear Blog, whatever he wanted to say would be OK.

And so

Here it comes.

Are you ready?

"I ain't no dang pengiun!"



Passing In Review

    

Keep that hand parallel to the ground

Soldier!

It Starts Today!

Spring's gotta be here somewhere because

the first games are upon us!

Oh happy, happy day.

Of course, Da likes the dogs

 and I do too. Today would be a good day

to go to Dudy Noble and eat some CrackerJacks

because tomorrow will be a rain out.

Da says we may be there at the end this year.

I only have one question.

Where is there?

Actually I have a second question.

Here's a hint

Get it?

!!!! I just crack myself up sometimes !!!!



Submitted For Your Consideration

Early Stages of a Really Bad Mistake

Closest I ever came involved a sleeping Da

at 3:00 am and my

Air Horn!

Never had seen him move so fast!

It was priceless and I paid a heavy price...

Oh Man!

You ever been here?

Yep George.

Looks like you stepped right in it.

Ever Been in One of Those Meetings?

Bla

Bla, Bla

Bla, Bla, Bla

Bla, Bla, Bla, Bla

Bla, Bla, Bla, Bla, Bla,

Bla, Bla, Bla, Bla, Bla, Bla,

Bla, Bla, Bla, Bla, Bla, Bla, Bla

Bla, Bla, Bla, Bla, Bla, Bla, Bla, Bla

Bla, Bla, Bla, Bla, Bla, Bla, Bla, Bla, Bla,



Everyone Has Been Here

So you should already know the story.

"Granny knits them for us for Christmas every year,

so when she comes for a visit Mom says

we gotta wear them until she leaves."



No Comment

Mommie!

Mommie!

I made the team!



So Much e-mail to Answer

OK guys

I appreciate all the e-mails I get each day

and am happy to answer each

and every one I receive.

So without lingering any longer:

#1 - I don't think so, but I do appreciate the offer

#2 - See #1 above, sorry but I must decline

#3 - Vegas Baby - March 17th 9:30 pm at the Pink Lady.

I'll be the PolyBear sipping a root beer at the end of the Bar

#4 - Nope - not for any amount of money.

#5 - Sure, why not - next Friday night

#6 - I'm already reading a screen play on almost that exact

subject, but thanks for thinking about me.

#7 - Blues Brothers Scene 5 when the Penguin 

is at the top of the stairs 

#8 - Waffles, Funnel Cakes and Pancakes, then Muffins

#9 - Nascar - Bristol, TN - I'll be signing memorabilia

at the spring Richard Petty Driving Experience.

#10 - OK but just this one time. I'll have my people 

call your people next week.

That's all for tonight.

Keep those cards and letters coming!

Penguins - What are they up to?

As much as I study them

And

as hard as I try

I am unable to figure these guys out

(Charrrrrrrge!)

(Anyone know who called this meeting?)

(insert your caption here)

I got nothing that does this justice.

Sometimes even the best scientists come up empty.

Oh Wait!

Global Warming - That's it!



Fooling around with Mr Google

You can never tell what you'll find

Linky Dinky

Are you sure you want to try the link?

Another Linky Dink

 and Yet another

 

Did you Remember?

Valentine's Day?

If you didn't, you can still run out and buy your sweetie

some swell Valentine's Day stuff

Candy is always nice

flowers are a traditional "I Love You" statement

that lots of folks go to in a bind

This would certainly make a statement

Of course you could always give the gift

that keeps on giving

A bear!

Happy Valentine's Day