It has been brought to my attention by sometimes trusted Interwebs site http://www.msnbc.com/ that a poor lady in Australia has been atttt (just a moment while I gets my emotions together) ... she has been ...
!!!! Attacked by a Tomato !!!!
Actual LinkyDink covering attack.
In an effort to stay completely factual, Miz Janet Carson was out walking her dog and it may be that the tomato first attacked the dog and then turned on the poor lady, injuring her severely. To quote her, she said that "It was huge" "She thought she was about to die" during the lengthy attack. Hopefully she will survive but authorities had to take out the tomato, which they did with salt/ pepper, vinaigrette and a sprinkling of chopped herbs, tossed lightly and chilled.
In this nearly exclusive artist recreation of the horrible incident, Miz Carson is shown in the clutches of the violent fruit.
Yes, friends they is actually fruits!
Evidently, from the top left corner of this factual recreation shown above, ALIENS MAY HAVE BEEN INVOLVED!
Evidently there is a lot of them running around, too
Thanks to FN.com
Not aliens, tomatoes
As an internationally famous news spreader, I feel it my responsibility to warn all of you to 'NEVER TRUST A TOMATO"
Remove small children and sissy men and then take a look at the next photo
Yes, that is a hideous, demonic smirk on that beast's face. I can't imagine - well yes I can. This tomato,, which obviously is about ten feet tall could eat a little polybear in one hungry chomp.
Thank you PoPos
After a fierce battle, with officers yielding billy clubs, basil and other condiments, the violent attacker tomato was eventually subdued and for a moment Australia is once again safe for hoomans and polybears.
Photo verification follows:
Apparently we dodged the bullet, er tomato, once again and can sleep in peace, until the next one creeps out of the vegetable bin in Mumzie's kitchen and silently, ever so silently creeps down the hallway and climbs up the side of the chest of drawers and
GRABS A POOR LITTLE SLEEPING POLYBEAR, WHO ONLY DRIFTED AWAY FOR A MOMENT WHILE DA, WHO REFUSES TO STAY UP AND PROTECT HIS FAMBILY SNORES AWAY, WITH ABSOLUTELY NO CONCERN FOR ZEROBEAR.
YES I IS SHOUTING! Consider the fact that at least half of you guys never listens to me anyhoo. What's a PolyBear to do when no one (outside of a few smart readers and you know who you is) cares what he says?
Uh, more information has just come in in this rapidly developing story. Evidently the tomato was also wearing a kangaroo suit. In light of this additional information we feels obligatored to expand our warning.
BE VERY CAREFUL OF KILLER TOMATOES DRESSED IN KANGAROO DISGUISES!
Oh the horror. What will we do?
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