Zerobrear Polybear promoted to "Master Chef de Jour"

Well, I was in the kitchen rustling up some grub the other day, 

when Da walked in on my culinary efforts. We got into a discussion about my training (or lack thereof) and the unfortunate event that happened a few weeks back.

When I was skillet roasting a pizza slice I discovered in the fridge. 

I assured Da (choose one) that 

1 - I did not do that

2 - That Fluffy Cat was fully responsible, 

3 - That it could have been burglars, trying to cover their pizza theft crime.

4 - Aren't firemen swell guys! and Isn't that little lizard a really nice Insurance guy?

You guys know Da is not the most trusting guy and, at some point during the discussion, he asked me:

What do you think you are? A Master Chef?

 Well, I thought that was a peachy idea, so I got on the interwebs (Da's account) and found a guy in the Ukraine, who runs an interwebs cooking school. After two hours instruction and a paypal (Thanks Mumzie) transfer of $12.37, I is now a Master Chef de Jour. I'll share m diploma when it comes through the mail in a week or two.

Step aside Emerald and Boy-are-D, a new frying pan just rode into town.

More later.  

Free at last!

 All I can say is prison was a drag, but I'm going to put that behind me now. I have a swell parole officer, who actually likes PolyBears, so maybe this will work out.

38,000th Viewer Contest

You know what?

 

Yep, I figured you did, so I'm going

to change up the scam

contest a little this time.

 

Everyone is elegible

 

 

for a winner's prize this time.

Just send me

 

$237,892.13 to cover shipping and handling

 

cash only - sorry no checks accepted because

 

 

this guy tried to stiff me last month.

 

Claimed he was former head honcho of the Fed, too.

 

Teach me to trust a quasi governmental politico.

 

I hacked into his facebook account

and fixed his wagon though.

 

You'd be surprised how easy it is to alter a photo

 with any of Adobi Corporation's fine line

of graphic alteration tools

(available at your fine local Barner and Nuble

store conveniently located in your local strip mall.)

 

Anyhow, to everyone who comes across with the cash

our awards committee ChairBear will carefully

select (just for) you one of the following swell prizes:

 

 

Maybe this honey of a speedboat.

 

 

or

 

 

You might win this speedwagon in the color of your choice.

 

or maybe

 

 

This slick piece of carbon fiber flying stuff. 

 

It's certainly my favorite give away prize 

and it might be your favorite, too.

 

 

or for a limited number of winnners

 

 

Possible permanent ownership of this

Unique masterpiece to be relocated from

the Louvre to your diggs by an art thief friend I met

in a chat room the other night.

 

Or perhaps

 

 

One of these custom grown Gourds.

 

or a gourd of similar design and size.

 

Just look at how happy that lucky winner was

as he attempted to select his prize.

 

 

just send your money and we'l get right to work

ordering your gourd or the Jet/Boat/Car/Mona/whatever.

 

Boy!

 

I wish I was a s lucky as you guys.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Life in a computerless world

Over the past few days. I have

experienced what Blog Life without a

computer would be like.

 

All 12 (14? 13?)of you who follow the blog

probably have experienced some of it, too.

 

 

Da

 

Has contracted with SlowPoke Computer Repair

to have his machine put back in order. All they will say

is that it is "Very Sick".

 

How was I to know that clicking on

a website named

 

www.GodHelpYouIfYouClickOnThis.com 

 

would cause any problems.

 

Oh well...

 

Did you know they have computers at the

 

 

public library.

 

However

 

They also have a sign that says

 

"PolyBear Use Not Permitted"

 

Evidently they are not only unable to forgive

they are also slow to forget.

 

sheeeeeesh

 

I will always maintain it wasn't my fault.

It was an assident and although the

Grand Jury did discuss the incident, the

records clearly state that no charges were ever filed.



 

There is Foot Ball Tomorrow

In lots of places I have been told

 

Tonight Too?

 

Wow!

 

Even Sunday?

 

Jeepers.

 

However let's stick with college ball.

 

Who'da thunk they play football

 

 

 

Out Up there in Oregon?

 

Their guy looks like he has anger issues to me.

 

anyhow,

 

Here it's

 

the Good Old

 

 

Mississippi State Bulldogs

 

"Go Dawgs!"

 

VS the

 

West Georgia

 

 

WarEaglePlainsmenTigers

(I sense an identity crisis down there)

 

Booooooooooooooo!

 

I think that is their mascot

 

but tomorrow

 

 

 

This guy may be more their style!

 

I hope...

 

 

 



Is there a doctor or priest in the house?

I guess I'm in trouble.

Da says I must now use the word "again"

I'm in trouble again.
(satisfied Da?)

 

Anyhow, I was just surfing around in the

pink lady chat room the other night.

 

Looking for some action with my best

Pink Lady Friend, Shiela.

 

!!!! HooYa !!!!

 

And Da says I picked up a virus on his computer.

 

I wasn't trying to pick up anyone.

All I know is now when you turn the dang thing on

 

 

This pops up and the machine locks.

 

Da says that something is Festering on the

motherboard.

 

Anyone know

 

 

an Exorcist?

 

Or maybe

 

 

a virologist.

 

Anyhow. I have snucked into the neighbor's house

to post this.

 

Interesting... does anyone know how to open

 

 

 a safe that probably has lots

of interesting stuff inside?

 

As long as I'm already in here

I have the time to investigate.

 

Apparantly they are in Chicago all weekend.

 

Slipping past the alarm system was easypeasey but

that safe has a certain PolyBear

(who will remain nameless) frustrated.

 

Wait!

 

 

I forgot...

 

 

I picked up just the thing for an uncooperative safe.

I ordered it two weeks ago and have it hidden under a tarp

out in Da's polebarn waiting for a problem just like this.

 

You can't go wrong remembering the 

Boy Scout Motto.

 

You don't know it?

 

Well, take notes Tenderfoot

because there will be a test.

 

It's

 

"Walk softly and use a long fuse." 

 

Tailgating

 

Unless you are in a cave,

you probably know that



it's Football Season.

 

 

Well, it is, even if you

don't live in a

cave.

 

One of my favorite parts of the entire

fall football experience is

 

Tailgating

 

If you love big crowds and

 

 

swell eats, You would enjoy tailgating too.

 

There are lots of food options

for the tailgating fan.

 

 

Burgers

 

 

Cake stuff

 

 

Chips of all types

 

 

Sandwiches

 

and if you drop by our tent

 

early enough

 

you might get

 

some of my

 

favorite

 

tailgating

 

 

food

 

 

 

waffles.

 

I like them fancy when we go tailgating.

 

Da says I must yell

 

 

Go Dawgs!

 

at some point whenever I post Football stuff.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Any Music Lovers Out There?

My friend, George is a musician.

He is trying to start up a

band and wondered

if he could

drum up any interest here.

Oh man I just kill myself sometimes.



Everyone likes sunsets

over the ocean

and

everyone likes puppies.

So

I

thought I'd

give you

a sunset

over the ocean

complete with a



puppy.

Sure wish he would

move over just a tad.

It's Finally Here!

 

Da is so excited he can bearly stand it.

 

Me too. - especially the bear part.

And so - Here they are.

 

 

The New Guys in Town

 

Booooooooooo!

 

 

The Big Guys in Town

 

Booooooooooooooo!

 

 

The Hoooo Dats?

 

Boooooooooooooooooooooo!

 

 

West Georga's WarEagleTigerPlainsmens

 

Booooooooooooooo!

 

 

Another school with an identity crisis

 

Boooooooooooooooooo!

 

 

The BBQ on the hoof guys

 

Booooooooooooooooo!

 

and

 

and

 

and

 

and

 

 

Da's Favorite (mine too)

 

 

The Bully Dogs

 

Woof! Woof! Woof!

 

YEeeeaaaAaaaaaAaaaaaaa !!! Bulldogs!!!!

 

What?

 

There is an SEC Eastern Division?

 

Who?

 

Oh Them

 

cool your jets just a minute

 

Here

 

 

Pflibbt!

 

Also Rans...

&

Wanna Bees

 

satisfied?

 

 

What's as pretty as a beautiful sunset?

A beautiful

sunrise!

And what comes right after sunrise?

Waffles!

Its gonna be a good good day.



Ask ZeroBear

Oh Mr. ZeroBear,

Can you help me with a question
I have pondered for a long time
with no clear answer?

What is the singular premise of
our existence in the universe?

Signed,

William - A fellow seeker.

***

Dear Willie,

You don't mind if I call you Willie, do you?

You know, I gott'a say,

I think you look more like him than he did.

But I bet you already knew that.

Anyhow

Singular?

Sure, I can do that,
as long as we keep it simple
because it's all simple.

I think that to him, we are a lot like

this.

And yet he remains interested in each of us.

Does anyone know

what's going on over in Alabama?

Do they have giants over there?

Why would I be asking that?

Well,

Just look at what I saw

headed in that direction Saturday morning.

Have you ever seen a

roll of toilet paper this big before?

I figure giants be living over there.



A moment of admiration

For Mumzies everywhere.

You go girls!

I bet she took that lad home and made him

some waffles for dinner.

Mumzies!

Gotta love'em.