It's Finally Here!

 

Da is so excited he can bearly stand it.

 

Me too. - especially the bear part.

And so - Here they are.

 

 

The New Guys in Town

 

Booooooooooo!

 

 

The Big Guys in Town

 

Booooooooooooooo!

 

 

The Hoooo Dats?

 

Boooooooooooooooooooooo!

 

 

West Georga's WarEagleTigerPlainsmens

 

Booooooooooooooo!

 

 

Another school with an identity crisis

 

Boooooooooooooooooo!

 

 

The BBQ on the hoof guys

 

Booooooooooooooooo!

 

and

 

and

 

and

 

and

 

 

Da's Favorite (mine too)

 

 

The Bully Dogs

 

Woof! Woof! Woof!

 

YEeeeaaaAaaaaaAaaaaaaa !!! Bulldogs!!!!

 

What?

 

There is an SEC Eastern Division?

 

Who?

 

Oh Them

 

cool your jets just a minute

 

Here

 

 

Pflibbt!

 

Also Rans...

&

Wanna Bees

 

satisfied?

 

 

A moment of admiration

For Mumzies everywhere.

You go girls!

I bet she took that lad home and made him

some waffles for dinner.

Mumzies!

Gotta love'em.



Volley Ball - It's a Jock Kind'a Thing

Hard to not watch because of the

Brotherhood of the Ball.

They look good enough to make it without ZeroBear

leading the effort at the net, blocking, smashing

and spiking the ball down the opponents throats.

Been there done all of that.

However, it's hard to have to deal with the self proclaimed

TV know it all commentators.

Yak, Yak, Yak

Bla, Bla, Bla

So much noise.

So little said.



Fast PolyBear

I ordered a pair of these

the other day

Just makes me feel faster

I may go out for the olympics running team



Winter Sports

You know winter is almost over now.

Some have e-mailed telling me I did a very poor job

covering winter sports this year. You're correct and

I apologize. I don't know why. Maybe you guys

will let me have one more whack at winter sports

before we start covering spring baseball.

The Iditarod Sleigh Race in Alaska was it's usual big deal.

I have no idea where you go to buy Nike Air Jordan

sneakers for dogs, but evidently you can.

Iditarod racing conditions are fiercely cold

and you can get all sorts of things

frozen off if you aren't really careful.

I asked my editors at the court appointed

Interwebs Censoring Service of America (ICSA)

if I could do a paragraph or two on the Iditarod

Sleigh Dog eating championship,

which is a popular

Polar Bear sporting event held annually and simultaneously

with the sleigh race. They said it would be inappropriate and

would likely lead to further injunctions and possble additional 

fines against ZeroBear PolyBear Blogs International, LLC.

In compliance with that court order I'll just say it is a popular

Polar Bear winter sporting event and leave it at that.

This next event (actual photo follows) is some annual

cross country ski race  (I forget the name) held in

Norway or Switzerland. Thanks MSNBC Sports, Inc. -

Your Interwebs source for winter sports information.

(Not affiliated with ZeroBear PolyBear Sports International.)

Back to the race:

As I understand there are about 11,000 idiots who

sprint from the starting line, trying to climb big hills on skis

and then crash into christmas trees as they attempt 

to go down the steep hills on the other side. It's a

great winter sport to be associated with if you are

a practicing Orthopedic Surgeon in Switzerland. 

The last winter event I have for you today is the Annual

FluffyKitty Cross Country Cat Race (AKA the Snowball 150).

It's held in a big parking lot beside Joe's All You Can Eat

Sushi Grill in Snowmass, Colorado on the weekend after

the 12th of February each year and attended by no less

than 5 or 6 adventurous kitties.

This is Stanley KittyCat. He is a gray stripped feline from Florida

who may well be questioning the wisdom of his last

minute entry after losing a bar bet.

Whiskers here is confused. He seems to have managed

to venture off course and may well be out of bounds,

which will cost him a 45 second time penalty and probably

any chance of winning the Joe's Tuna Roll Trophy for the

fastest time or the Joe's Smoked Eel roll award for the

straightest line through the course.

This is not a racer. This is Amanda PrettyKitty, a staff

writer covering the race for CatSports llustrated. She seems

irritated that she has become separated from her photographer.

It always seems to happen at some point in the really big races,

but controversy erupted this year when three time 150 winner

Sammy WhiteKitty was disqualified for using a 

paw warmer in excess of the allowable BTU limit. Sammy is

seen here leaving the race course in a KittyHuff.

This is eventual race winner Lee HereKitty Jones, as he makes his

initial timed run. Lee completed the 150 yard course in an

amazing 106.887534 seconds, setting a new 150 yard

snow race world record.

HereKitty celebrated by leaving an impressive

yellow patch in the snow before retiring into Joe's

for a saucer of warm milk and a hearty

serving of Mouse Mousse.

NCAA Bracket Excitement

It's that time again!

Fish Sticks and TaterTots Time?

No, although I could use a couple or ten Fish Sticks

for dinner tonight and a big order of TaterTots.

A root beer would be nice, too.

(Hint Hint - Mumzie).

Actually, it's

March Madness Time

Honestly, all Da wants to talk about is

Basketball

I'm tired of it already and the SEC Tournament

hasn't even started. They must finish the SEC before

the NCAA can start, so I have no idea when

it will all be over. Shirley before April Fools Day.

I know... 

At least Da is willing to buy

Mamma Meatza Pizza on game nights.

And he keeps lots of Root Beer in the, fridge

so I may be bored, but at least I will be well fed.

Moving on so I can finish this before dinner,

in case Mumzie makes Fish Sticks - I like being

first at the table on the nights we have fish sticks.

Anyhow,

He (Da) is all excited about the Bracketology

stuff right now. I have no idea what Bracketology

is but talking about it makes Da Happy, so

Bracketology, Bracketology, Bracketology

(try saying that with Fish Sticks on the mind)

Anyhow

Did you hear what happened?

You didn't?

well

Do you know

Conan O'Brian?

Na - I don't either.

As I understand he has a late night show that is

opposite the Swamp Possom Trappers Show on

Discovery Channel each night. Well, I don't miss

Possom Trappers, so I've never seen it,

but I understand there are people who

watch it all the time.

(Probably anti-possum trapping folks)

The other night, Conan did his bracket for the NCAA

Tourney.

How? Be Patient.

Well, he sprayed his bracket board with sticky glue

and threw the team names up in the air and where they

landed was where he says they will wind up at the end

of the tourney.

Here he is with the board (Exhibit 1)

Know where the good old

MSU BullDogs landed?

You don't care?

Well Da Does.

Look close - Final Game Right there in the center!

Da is beside himself - Whatever that means.

 I think it was TV Voodoo or something, but

as long as we have Meatza Pizza I'm OK.

Bracketology Bracketology Bracketology

Meatza Pizza & Root Beer

Chumming

I predict this will be the next up and coming

sport to hit the scene. It will become so popular

that eventually they will add it to the Olympics

where it will be dominated by the Aussie team for years.

An Olympic sport called

Chumlee?

No

Chumming

Sheessh

Wikipedia

(that other know it all blog site)

defines chumming as:

"the practice of luring animals, usually fish or sharks,

by throwing "chum" into the water."

Chumlee? In the water?

You're going to try to throw

Chumlee into the ocean?

Where he might get eaten by a shark?

We're going to throw Chumlee into the water

to get eaten by a shark?

No Chimpster. Lets go back and quote some more

from the Wiki-Knows-It-All Blogsite:

"Chum often consists of fish parts and blood,

which attract fish, particularly sharks

due to their keen sense of smell."

Well, That's Gross!

You bet it is!

But it works!

And just try telling me

that this chumming exercise

shown below

 isn't about to get exciting

in about one second...

Chumming

an exciting sport

for the entire family!

No Comment

Mommie!

Mommie!

I made the team!



Fishing

Ya know, Da's OK for an old coot.

I guess if we want to be technically correct, he isn't really a coot

cause he has no feathers or beak (bill?)

However he's one really old dude. That's for sure. And a little excentric.

Take fishing, for example.

Da is what most folks would call a "Fishing Fool."

I likes fish (of the stick variety) a lot and Da eats fishes, but he wants to catch them on the hoof and then cook them, whereas I is content to walk into the kitchen and place my order with Mumzie for a dozen Miz Paul's Crunchy Sticks of Fish 

and a pile of Tater Tots.

Da wants to take a long flippy stick with a green string holder reel hanging off the bottom

and flail away at them like a dang idiot.

Its like he can't make up his mind about anything. He has a whole box of hooks with feathers and hairy strings tied all over them

And other wierd comtraptions he calls flys and lures.

He'll use one for a while and then switch to another, and then back.

And he throws them out at the fish and then jerks them back, time after time after time after time after time...

Now he ain't afraid of putting on tall boots and getting right out there in the river with them. SOmetimes he steps into a hole and that is a real hoot.

Occassionally he manages (how - I have no idea) to catch one.

You'd think he had found a million dollar gold nugget in the river when he is successful.

Honestly, I feels sorry for him, so I has decided to help him.

First I did some research

Had to use the old puter in the attic, cause I has been banned from Mumzie's state of the art Giga-blaster Japanese machine, because of some bogus lies the dark suit and skinny ties police had about me logging into the CIA network at Langley one night last week, They went on and on and insisted I take a polygraph test. I held my breath and passed it easypeasy and eventually tehy left for bigger fish (whatever that means). Then Mumzie decided I should stay off her computer for like the next hundred years, which slowed me down a bit. However, even though the old machine is slow I still got the answers I figure Da needs to catch him a bunch of fish with high fiber like acceptable regularity.

Here is what he needs and what I got for him.

That's a Western Electric ZappZitter Fish Caller. I found it on e-bay and reeled it in during a late night auction last week. Some guy in Arkansas wanted it, too, but I out bid him ($18.00) and thanks to Mumzie's paypal account it is on the way via UPS Gold Service (only $196.57 extra). One thing about e-bay; there is some friendly people there and they don't mind doing business late at night when a certain Mumzie full of questions Mumzie is asleep.

The ZappZitter Fish Caller is guaranteed to work, but I is not taking any chances. Da's not always the sharpest tack in the bolt box, so I came up with a back-up plan to help the old guy out. My research shows that the next best fishing method, after ZappZitting them, involves using Dyna-Sticks, so I have secured some through Bob the Surplus Guy. Although they were harder to get, (custom order from the trunk of his car delivery, cause they is not allowed on e-bay or UPS) they evidently work every time. I picked up a big old box full of them.

And Bob threw in instructions on his sure fire method for using them to catch fish. He says if you do it right, you will have explosive success.

FluffyKitty and I is going to the pond in the woods behind the house tomorrow to try the Dyna-Sticks out. FluffyKitty will be so surprised when he sees how good we will be at catching fishes. I'm going to let him retrieve them for us, cause the water is chilly cold right now and I have this thing about not getting wet in a month that contains an "r". I doubt it will bother him at all when I throw him into the pond to collect our catch.

I feels so Field and Streamish!