A Tale of Adventure!

Prepare yourselves for excitement Pilgrims.

Once there was a mighty adventurer named

ZeroBear PolyBear. He was famous for the

feats of daring

that he accomplished in the name of sport.
"Look Mumzie, no hands"

There seemed to be no thrill 

he would shy away from.

Then one day he learned about the dare devil

sport of fan riding.

Perhaps you have heard of the few, the great,

the amazing who undertake this sport of sports. When

ZeroBear heard he knew he must do,

and so this afternoon, he did.

Watch and marvel at this feat of daring, and the tragic

recounting of a thrill gone terribly wrong.

As we begin, Mumzie and Da have gone shopping.

The high speed camera is set to record this feat.

ZeroBear assumes the starter's position and firmly

grasps blade #5 of a Hunter Tropic Breeze, multiple

speed, reversible rotation, wall switch controlled

ceiling fan.

(Available at your friendly local Ace Hardware Store)

At the PolyBear's signal, his enthusiastic

assistant FluffyKitty activates the motor. Unfortunately

what is intended to be a low speed startup is inadvertently

messed up beyond belief when FluffyKitty powers

 up the unit at high speed and things go quickly and

tragically wrong.

In this view, you will note the PolyBear has lost his

grip on the blade and is moving at a high rate of speed

away from the ceiling fan unit.

Approximately one revolution of the fan later, the

PolyBear has left the uncertain security of the fan

blade and in the words of knowledgeable adventurers

"has fallen headfirst into deep and somewhat smelly

toilet water".

Notice:

Womens, Childrens and Sissy Men may wish to stop

looking at ZeroBear Poly Bear Blog at this time as

things will be going downhill quickly from this point

forward.

An instant later ZeroBear has completed a 360 degree

rotation and his entire life is flashing before his eyes.

A second 360 with a half twist quickly passes as the

PolyBear attempts to determine why the heck

he does these things the safest route to fall in order

to avert danger to the viewing audience.

In an extremely dangerous turn of fate, the massive

centrifugal forces at play in yet another 360 degree

rotation with half twist separate the PolyBear

from his custom (by Mumzie) fabricated padded

head protection gear.

Oh the drama at play here!

What will happen????

!!!! WHAM !!!!

In an instant it is over. At the last moment, with only

nanoseconds to spare, the PolyBear, showing incredible

reflexes and remarkable presence of mind manages to

get his protective gear back in place before landing on

a non-critical body part.

TIME PASSES

An update from ZeroBear follows:

I is OK. It only hurts when I think about what I'm going

to do to when I catch up with  Fluffy Kitty for switching

on the fan at high speed.

Required Legal Warning

ZeroBear PolyBear is an expert Daredevil.

Do not attempt this feat of daring at home, or after

a night of drinking SchlitzWizers or Guinness Stout.

Additional warning:

Doing this to a FluffyKitty is likely considered animal

cruelty in most states and the District of Columbia and

as such subject to criminal prosecution (they tell me).