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Apparently led by a few highly

Fanatical leaders



mobs of ducks have been disrupting traffic

as they protest their belief that ZeroBear PolyBear

International Blogging Services, LLC has not been

posting enough Duck Posts on the website

ZeroBear PolyBear (TM).

Apparently the belief is that more blog coverage has

been extended to

chickens than to

ducks

At last report a group of ducks has occupied

a strategic island in South Carolina. It is not known

how heavily armed they are, but apparently each

of the occupiers

has two wings.

No reason for the occupation has been announced.

We will cover these troubling events

and bring you additional reports as they unfold. 

A Message to Militant Ducks and Chickens

For some time now, the Blogsite has been

receiving daily threatening e-mails from groups

of militant

ducks

and crazed

chickens.

you need to understand I will not

yield to your demands for more

duck and chicken posts.

In the words of Winston Churchill

Never, Never, Never

Let me allow my good buddy Albert Einstein

to state it more plainly for me.

Comprende?

Now - go bother someone else.

If you ducks

Don't stop sending me 

all these harassing e-mails

and

Group photos I will involve

my Legal Team

No that's not a threat, just a promise.

I can't just put up duck posts whenever you ask!

Go harass Huffington Post.

Beware!

As part of our efforts to protect our readership

we post the following warning.

If anyone offers you a cup-o-duck

say no thanks.

This is just wrong



I am amazed at technology

Old timey technology

New state of the art technology

They look so lifelike now, don't they!



This duck business is for the birds!

I has been threatened by another duck group.

Today I got a phone call from the

ARDA

Demanding equal time on the ZeroBear PoloBear Blog.

My Marketing Guru

Jerome (paperpants) Kawalskii

says that we need to cooperate so today we will

devote much too much bandwidth to

rubber ducks.

Yep those guys who made the threatening call were officials

from the American Rubber Duck Association

ARDA

So today's blog will be devoted to the

American Rubber Duck

I did some research and found out that

For the most part, Rubber Ducks are pretty good people

They are inclusive

They have a sense of humor

And there are a bunch of them

I figure if all of them came by tomorrow to check out

my rubber duck post I'd get about a boillion hits.

Sadly, none of them has computer access.

even though just as has been reported in the past

most of them

has their ducks in a row. 

Did you know there was a head honcho rubber duck?

He is a big shot.

Another Legal Problem...

What's a poor little worldwide famous PolyBear to do?

Da and I spent all day yesterday

giving depositions at the law offices of

Zukownski, Wojohowitz, Kowakzyck & Smith, LLP

who it seems have decided to file what I consider a 
frivolous civil action (lawsuit) against

ZeroBear PolyBear,esq

ZWK&S, LLP represent snooty claimants from

the American Society for the

Prevention of the Misrepresentation of Ducks as Chickens

AKA - ASPMDC

It seems that a chicken photo I used earlier this week

was actually a duck

WHOO'DA THUNK THAT?

So we spent the first hour or so

answering the questions?

1 - Did it Walk like a Duck?

2 - Did it Talk like a Duck?  

3 - Did it Act like a Duck?   

and me answering each question with a sincere

"Didn't you guys have a pastry tray brought in?"

cause what good is a nasty legal grilling without

a tasty assortment of sticky buns?

Chocolate milk would have been nice also but

they had no chocolate milk either.

From the very first I knew it was going to be a bad day

I think we reached a final resolution sometime after a lunch that

Da and I had to go purchase on our own because they neglected 

to have anything brought in.

Thanks for the Tater Tots and Corn Dog at Sonic, DA

You Duh best Da ever! 

****

Anyhoo - Here come Duh Lawsuit

Settlement Mumbo Jumbo Statement

We finally agreed to have me make.

(Quote)

In full resolution of all claims brought forth by  ASPMDC

as represented by ZWK&S, LLP

(your one stop service when you want to sue somebody)

ZeroBear PolyBear, esq sincerely (sic) makes the following statements.

Ducks is Ducks.

They is not chckens and never has been chickens.

Chickens is Chickens

and

Ducks is Ducks

and

(unquote)

That completes my legal settlement responsibility.

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