I have breaking bad news

That is very important and needs to be shared

But first I have

waffles

No wait

Those are pancakes

I forgive you Mumzie

Do we have any chocolate milk?

Beware

Yes friends, I have uncovered a situation

that not only do you need to be aware of,

but you needs to be wary of!

What, you ask?

Some Pizza Parlors is putting less sausage on their  MeatZaPizzas!



No wait, it wasn't that.

Nuns is roaming the streets with guns

No wait, it wasn't that either

but that is kind'a scary.

Not as scary as blue boogers

\

Or fungus run amok

That's Uncle Juan with the mushroom

that tried to eat FluffyKitty last night!

Seriously!

We is having it for dinner tonight

sauteed in butter with thin sliced sirloin,

shallots, red wine and heavy cream.

Fear no more about that

I is talking about something really scary

However

At the moment

I can't remember what it is

Uh

Wait!

Mumzie is calling

I'll get back to you after snack time.

Cookies and Chocolate Milk can't wait.

Any Experts Out There?

FluffyKitty and I was having a nice outside in the misty rain afternoon time today

when we found this mushroom patch

I convinced him that they was just as good as those stroganoff guys

that FluffyKitty likes to munch on when Mumzie isn't looking.

Anyhow, he chomped a bunch of them down

and every since,

he has been acting all weird like.

Right now, he is out in the barn

talking about Dancing Mushrooms

Coming down the street

And

Blue Boogers

I hates it when he talks about blue boogers

cause some of them scares the BeeGeeBees out of me.

Would an Alka Seltzer help?

Tums?



Egg Fever

iS RUnnING HEaVY aT mY HOUsE

How about where you live?

No, not scrambled egg fever,

although if you had a little mayo and another slice of toast,

that would make a pretty good sammich

(leave the green stuff off of mine) 

but I is still so filled with turkey I'm about to pop.

Egg Fever?

Now you're right.

All the guys at our house, which includes me and old what's his name

...

Uh

Dang, his name is

Uh

DA! His name is Da

Me and Da can hardly wait for the contest to confirm that the Dawgs

Gets to keep the Egg

for another year

Its hard to make it inside our house and not know who we cheers for.

Mumzie wants everybody to know that if you aren't a Dawg fan,

you need to keep your opinion to yourself.

****

Anyhow, Tomorrow is Egg Bowl Day

The field is all ready I bet.

And a big crowd is expected

Mumzie and Da has been getting ready all day

Da can't decide what to wear tomorrow

Mumzie says she plans on wearing wet resistant.

I bet Da does, too.

I will keep the home front safe and watch the game on ESPNU.

Tweet me

Or drop by and see me. I'll be set up here

Tailgating before the game.

My stuffings is maroon

And my house is Dawg City.

Hunting - 2011

I am Nantucka. I am a mighty hunter

I have equipped myself

That's my mighty Roomington Double Barrelled Pig Blaster 2000.

Lots of flashlights, too, cause it can get scarey dark in the woods.

I have practiced to the point where my skills are honed to a sharp perfection



Animals Fear Me.

So what prey should I take from the forest?

I think not. Birds of a feather and all.

Da says you gets serious prison time for even thinking about this

Lots of potential but Mumzie says

"no more gun shooting in the house"

and she makes up the rules that costs you waffles for breakfast

if you breaks them.

Oh I wish, but Mumzie still says no.

Yes, Yes, Yes!

Turkey!

Da says they are skittish

and very hard to even get a shot on,

but he never met a hunter as savy as me.

So I got everything together and struck out

Get out of the way Tree!

We is going after the elusive TurkeyBird today!

 

Finally I made it to the Hunting Field.

I sneaked up,

Silently Stalked

and got him

in my sights

and

Scared the BeeGeeZers out of everyone in the Grocery Store

and emptied the meat dept.

But I bagged him with one shot.

My trophy.

I is so proud.

I am Nantucka.

I am a mighty hunter.

Da Says No Interwebs tomorrow

So don't read this until Thursday

Is it Thursday yet?

It is?

Great!

Then let's get started
 

 

From Mumzie

Happy Thanksgiving From FluffyKitty

Happy Thanksgiving from Old What's His Name

...

Oh yeh - Da, his name is Da.

And Happy Thanksgiving from ZeroBear PolyBear, esq., LLC

May your table be filled with good stuff

May your day be filled with friends

May you smile as one who is content

And may your cranberry sauce last until all the dressing is gone.

With thanks to Charles E Brown and Company Players, Inc.

For helping out.



I is a lucky PolyBear

Today I received the following letter from a nice Lady in Africa. We all knows that things is pitiful in Libya, but she has decided to share her wealth with me.

She no doubt knows all about my sterling character.

Just read the following:

FUND FOR THE ORPHAN READ AND REPLY!!!!!!!!!


Dear Elect

I am happy to know you, but god knows you better and he knows why he has directed me to you at this point in time so do not be afraid. i saw your e-mail contact at ministries of commerce and foreign trade departments. i am writing this mail to you with heavy sorrow in my heart, my name is Mrs Christabel muammar gaddafi.And am contacting you because i don’t have any other option than to tell you as i was touched to open up to you, i am married to Mr Smith muammar gaddafi who worked with Libyan embassy in Malaysia for ten years before he died in the year 2005.we were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only five days.

Since his death i decided not to remarry again, when my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of us$ 8.5m(Eight Million Five hundred thousand dollars)in a Bank in Kuala Lumpur the capital city of Malaysia in Asia presently this money is still in Bank. He made this money available for exportation of gold from Malaysia mining.Recently, my doctor told me that i would not last for the period of seven months due to cancer problem. Whoever that wants to serve god must serve him in spirit and truth because god is the most high; please always be prayerful all through your life.

The one that disturbs me most is my cancer sickness. Having known my condition i decided to hand you over this money and the gold to take care of the less-privileged people, you will utilize this money the way i am going to instruct herein. i want you to take 40 percent of the total money for your personal use while 60% of the money will go to charity" people in the street and helping the orphanage.

I don't have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not good not even good at all because they are the one that responsible for the death of my late husband in other to have all my late husband properties and i don't want my husband's efforts to be used by those that conspired for his death. i grew up as an orphan and i don't have anybody as my family member, just to endeavour that the name of god is maintained... am doing this so that god will forgive my sins and accept my soul because this sickness has suffered me so much.

As soon as i receive your reply i shall give you the contact of the bank in Malaysia and i will send authority letter that will prove you the present beneficiary of the money that is if you assure me that you will act accordingly as i stated herein.Also i want you to go to the bank manager one on one to meet them for the claim because i don’t need any delay; if you are ready to claim the fund i need you to go and see with your eyes. Hoping to receive your reply.

Your Sincerely
Mrs Christabel muammar gaddafi.


 **********************************************************


I is going to help this poor lady out. I think I will surprise Mumzie and use her bank account information so they can deposit our millions into Mumzie's account.


!!!!!!!!AGAIN AGAIN, IT HAPPENED AGAIN!!!!!!!!

This one came today, too

Dear Sir/Madam


EuroMillions wishes to congratulate you on snapping up our jackpot prize of a Million Pounds via your email address. Reply to claim, quote ref number UKH-MOW11. You must state your full name and country of residence when replying.

EuroMillion UK

****************DO NOT DELETE THIS MESSAGE*********************

OH HAPPY HAPPY DAY

I is about to get rich!

First thing I is gonna buy a race boat, and then maybe a funnel cake factory.

I Didn't Know

But I bet some of you do.

Know that is.

I has had a complaint from a loyal reader, from not so far away, who says that I didn't give them equal coverage and the truth is that I didn't, but I still has time to, so I will.

I will do what?

Cover Mama Meatza's ground breaking work when she developed the MeatZaPizza

No wait, that's wrong. That isn't what they wanted. It was something else.

Oh yeh, I remember. Here is a hint

Nope, it's not the NASCAR Wash Pot 500 race next April at Talladagger Racetrack.

Guess again?

Ding!

We is going to talk about the Classic Alabama Contest of Grid-Iron will known as the Iron Bowl.

Did you know I once lived in Alabama? Well I did. Mumzi and Da and I lived a little north of Highway 80, with a big yellow dog named Pete

and a Gray FluffyKitty named PorchKitty, 

which by Alabama Constitutional Edict maked us Bammer Fans.

Gray FluffyKitty didn't make us Bammer Fans, Where we lived did.

 As I understand, Section 46D,  Ammendment 156 of the 1926 revision of the Alamaba Constitutional says:

"If you lives north of highway 80, you is required to be an Alabama fan and If you lives south of Highway 80 you is required to root for Auburn, under penalty of Out-law-ism should you fail to know where highway 80 is and falls in sports love with the wrong team." 

That means (by law and penalty of public ostrization) we lived and breathed all that big Al stuff

and the toilet paper tied to a box of Laundry Detergent. 

I is certain you noze that there are peoples who live south of Highway 80 in Alabammer.

They is required by Law to be Auburn Fans. Being an Auburn fan is tough, cause they is the 

FluffyKittyTigers

Who uses the cry, "War Eagles"

And they lives on "the mostest beautiful City on the Plains"

so they is also the Plainsmen.

It is all very very very confuzzuling.

But we is here to talk Football.

Big Al and the guys from T Town is coached by The most nobelest Roman of them all Nicus Sabanus

Uh, we needs to be delicate here, Nicus Sabanus is the short one. The really big dude is Terrence Cody, who's momma likely had big grocery bills when he was growing up.

The Plainsmen Tigger War Eagles is coached by

Uh

Uh

Uh

Gin SwizzleStick. I think that is right. He is the dude who lookes like one of them guys in blue and orange has gastric difficulties resulting in Methane Gas Elimination. I is not allowed to use the term "Stinky Fart", so you will need to figure out  that wierd expression for yourself.

Sometimes Good things happen to peoples and last year Gin had a good thing happen to him.

Gin's good thing was named CammeyCam Newton.

His Daddy calls him Fig (and mealticket), but I don't.

Like all good Football Rivalries, AL and Au hates each other. And they fights hard hard in the Iron Bowl for Bragging Rights

Their Games is legendary tests of determination and will

And the fans have been known to take it personaly.

I don't know why this guy tried to kill them trees

The Toilet Paper would have killed them eventually

As near as I can tell, AU and UA is not actually rivals.

If I understand it right, AU claims GA as their rival and AL claims the Dallas Cowboys.

Good luck guys and may the best team (which most years is Alabama) win this coming Saturday.

Jeepers!

I has already received a protest from the Red Stick Tiggers

And The Piggies