The Perfect Storm Is On Its Way

Football

FOotBAll

FOOTBALL!

FOOTBALL!

I know you guys who read my Literary Masterworks
are all the time saying,

"That Faulkner guy ain't gotz nuttin on ZeroBear"

You don't?

You sez, "Who forgot to taught that Bear to spell?"

I is insalted!

I would like to say that spelkl check is for wooses! Live wit it.

You should be saying, "That PolyBear's Da certainly likes Football."

He does.

He watches a lot of it, that's for certain.

The MSU Dawgs is his team and where his heart resides,

but he likes other folks too, Including,

The West Georgia Pachyderms - AKA Big Al's Bammers

The Bayou FluffyKitties - AKA LSU Tigers

Shoot, he has even watched

Da Black Bears - AKA TSUN, although he seems happiest when they gets whooped (Evidently he has some kind'a deep seated crazy-guy problems that goes back to unhappy young adulthood memories related to some "Archie Who" incident at Memorial Stadium in Jackson, Mississippi back in 1968 when he was showed exactly who Archie was.)

He has teams he does not like under any circumstances, but I won't make any off color references to them Hoggies or TigerEaglePlainsmen.

I will say that he ain't got no fondness for west coast ducks

Unless they is accompanied with wild rice, mushroom gravy and crusty bread. Neither does I, the one shown here belongs to Mumzie. Fooling around with him will get you wet and I hates getting wet in any month that has an "r", so I do not hang with this dude.

Da has said many times that over his years

he has seen some really talented teams beat his beloved Bull Dogs

And two of the best has beat them this year.

No, not Tennessee Teacher's College, or University of Maine (Sheesh)

The guys from Bammer Institute of Elephant Research (UA) and Red Stick School of Gumbo Cooking (LSU) is those two talented football teams, and it seems both of them wants to be 2011 National Champions.

Evidently you gets lots of Bennies if you wins what they calls the BCS Championship game.

Like the opportunity to get your picture made with the trophy at Wal-Mart.

In a classic Doofus Pose.

So what about 2011?

At times this year, the good old SEC has had both #1 and #2 positions in College Football all Sowed (sewed?) up, with LSU and UA in one or the other, then they foolishly played each other before time to settle the "Who's Best?" question in New Orleans on January 9, 2012. Didn't they know that somebody had to lose that game?

Well, The Bammer Guys did, and immediately folks began to devise a thousand ways how the two teams might get to New Orleans and play a second time.

As an intergalacticlly famous football analyst, I has figured out how it will happen.

Wanna know how?

Everybody else gotz beat, leaving Bamma as the best option for the championship game other than LSU.

I think that series of losses may have happened last night.

I is a genius!  

For the life of me, I can't figure out why I didn't come up with a way for the Dawgs to make it to the BCS New Orleans contest in a game against Da Bears.

Cause everybody knows what Dogs thinks about bears, who evidently only considers TigerFluffyKitties as their equals when it comes to Football Rivals.

Peoples who wear rubber pigs on their heads is evidently

involved in that strange relationship, too

It all gets so complicated.