Beam Me Down Scotty!

By Junior Starfleet Officer ZeroBear PolyBear

There is almost no limit to the fun you can have here on the Starship Enterprise. Yesterday, after I finally decided that Friday the 13th falling on a Saturday had passed, I met this nifty guy named Scotty. Scotty is responsible for the go button on the Teleportation Machine. Did you know that you can go just about anywhere if you can get him to Google Galactica the space coordinates and hit the go button for you?

Don't believe me? Watch this.

Here we have for your consideration, a Martian rock garden. Where are all the little green men, you ask? Well dufus, there aren't any little green men on Mars. They are reddish brown, and they can get pretty big along side a little PolyBear Junior Starfleet Officer, but I'm getting off subject. I have convinced Scotty to do a demo for you earthling guys. Just watch this.

OK Scotty, Beam me down!

Ain't that nifty?

OK Scotty, Beam me back up...

OK Scotty, beam me back up...

Scotty?

Scotty?

Uh ... Please?

Sheesh! Starship etiquette can be a real pain.

Whew! Back Again!

I may stay here forever. Did you know they have a machine that makes Pronto Pups out of thin air? Diet Dr Peppers and pizza rolls and buttered popcorn too! Ol Doc Bones likes him some late night Pronto Pups with his hot chocolate! Spock says they're not logical, but if he thinks you aren't watching, he'll scarf down three or four faster than you can say "Tribbles is Trouble."

Tonight I'm going to introduce them to Klondike Bars.

Did I mention Scotty talks funny?

"Aye canut git any mor out'a her Kapt'n Kirk!"

He's a real hoot!