A Trek Trip To Ireland
By ZeroBear Sea Monster Eater PolyBear

Boy did we have a good time yesterday. Captain Kirk had been promising the Officers a field trip for days and in honor of St. Patty's day, and since the Enterprise is still stuck in that Farnsworth-Berkley-Beckem Model 12 Time Spacey Continuum, Good Old Captain Kirkseypoo decided to transport us down to Ireland!

Anyhoo, we all gathered in the transporter room at ZeroSomethingOrOther hundred hours (That's starfleet talk) and beamed ourselves down.

Kirk left the starship on auto pilot.

Everyone knows what a self sacrificing crew member I am and so I offered to stay on board, take the helm and drive the StarShip for the crew while they were away ("Engine Room, Give me Warp twelve"), but Kirk said he didn't think that would be a good idea.

I showed him my Drivers License

 

but old Mr. Pointey Ears know-it-all chimed in and said it didn't seem logical to him that I would have one. Well Mr. know-it-all-can't-even-do-a-mind-leg-meld with a PolyBear, there it is above. Perfectly good Drivers License. I paid $14.95 for it on http://www.fakedriverslicenses.com/. Oh well, at the point Spock objected it became a lost cause, so I just went with them.

Once there, we went to Castle Blarney. I missunderstood Uhura yesterday. I thought she said we were going to Barney - that big purple dino's house. INstead, she said Blarney, home of the kissey rock.

So, we took the $5.00 tour to kiss the Blarney Stone along with about a Bozillion other tourists. The line was pretty long and then the whole "kiss the rock" deal was disappointing.

The darn thing is way up in the air at the top of a scarey tower. That's it on the other side of those "We're all gonna die" bars in the photo, and I had to be willing to lay on my back and let someone hold my legs and lower me down to the kissey spot, which there's no way I'm gonna do that so high up in the air. A PolyBear could lose his hat that Mumzie Knitted for him for Da's Birthday doing such foolishness. So, everyone else did the whole kissey rock thing and I settled for a smooch from Uhura. She's such a sweetie. I have no idea how she'll ever get over a certain PolyBear when splitsville time comes as it always must (sigh). Such is the life of a Galactic wide famous AstroBear PolyNaught and Junior Starfleet Commander.

After kissing the rock they all wanted to go on a dungeon tour, which was a big mistake. Let me take a poll here. How many of you think an Irish dungeon is a good place to run into a scarey old Irish haunty-spook? Well I do too.

 

Here (above) is where they wanted me to go. The second I showed up, here is what showed up.

JeePeRs CReePers! An Irish HaaaaAaaannnt! I haven't stopped shaking yet. Hoo knows what would have happened if that HauntyGhost had been able to get me down there in the dark. Uhura stayed with me on a bench out in the well lit hallway by the snack machines while everyone else did that dark & scarey part of the tour. While they were gone, I sat in her lap and held on to her tight to keep the boogers away from her. Then we went upstairs to tour the rest of the place and what did we find? You got it. MOre boogers!

I was happy when we decided to leave that place to go find something to eat. Dang Irish HaunteySpookBoogers.

The nice thing about Ireland that I discovered is that it's absolutely full of good places to eat.

Here is where we had dinner. A nice Irishman named Shaun O'Shaunisey ran the place. He said that Ghosts weren't allowed. In Ireland they call these places Pubs. They had lots of nice stuff to drink. I had Diet Dr. Pepper

Everyone else had this stuff.

Smelt like Motor Oil to me and burned my nose. I guess Old LOgical Spock had a few too many and when we got back last night he (according to Captain Kirk, who gave him heck about it today) evidently, visited the throne room and talked to Ralph all night. I didn't know there was a King Ralph on board the Enterprise. He never comes to the officers' canteen for breakfast. Mr. Spock didn't come down this morning either. Maybe he had breakfast with King Ralph in the Throne Room (LaDeDaa).

Irish Food

Did you know that you can eat Sea Monster in Ireland? Look at this scarey sea monster they cooked up for us at the Pub.

 Hoooo Nelley! However - surprize - surprize - here is what it looked like after they cooked it all up and added some tater fixings.

HA! Sea Monster Sticks and Tater Tots. Tasty as can be! I may move to Ireland and live on Sea MOnster Sticks and Tater Tots when I retire from StarFleet. Oh yeah that tartar sauce was first rate, too. Almost as good as Mumzie's, but I told Shaun I liked it better.

OK, one last thing. I'm not trying to rub anyone's nose in the dirt, but here was old Pointey Ears Drivers LIcense is not Logical when we got back last night.

He'd been lots better off if he had stuck with me and Diet Dr. Pepper. MAybe his good buddy King Ralph will take care of him today over in the throne room, cause I gots better things to do.