I is Becoming a World Famous Authority on FluffyKitties

I has learned so much about Fluffy Kitties this afternoon that I must know more than anybody else anywhere around, but before we get to that let me tell you some swell stuff about Da's tool collection first.

Da has lots of tools.

He gotz prybars 

 

No closed door is safe when you got these babies at your disposal.

He gots weapons of destruction

I has to work at it to get this puppy moving, but when I does, watch out!

Da says I'm wrong, but I think you uses this to shave Giants!

Maybe they uses it to shorten really long nozes. I is still unsure.

Best of all I likes DA'S power tools, which I uses all the time, and that involves what I learned about FluffyKitty this afternoon.

This is called a grinder. It is used for grinding.

This is a Drill

 

Them attachments is drills. They are just as useful as the drill when you is drilling.

I likes Da's yellow tools. You probably knows that I has a yellow leg.

All if this brings me to FulffyKitty and what I learned today. You may not know this, but FluffyKitties does not like things that whir really fast, especially around their headbones.

Neither does they like the practice of home dentistry. Maybe it is the word practice that bothers them.

As much as I learned this afternoon I does have a question if someone would e-mail me an answer. How does you get a FluffyKitty down out of the big tree in the front yard? 

I promised I would practice on Mumzie or Da before cleaning his toofers, but it is getting dark and he shows not nary a hint of coming down.

I called the Fire Department and they said they is tired of coming out to take care of some problem I has gotten into. Thye also suggested I stops using 911 to call them. They took it as an insult when I sugested they is just Sunday Afternoon lazy goofoffs and that a little ladder work would be good for them, since they is likely just wasting my tax dollars watching TV at the Fire Station when they out to be out rescuing FuffyKitty who seems to be climbing even higher whenevrr I goes outside to try to talk some reson into him. Even telling the fireguys they could probably run the siren on their way out didn't help.

Wonder does Mumzie have a can of tuna in the pantry.

You wouldn't believe what we has

Last night I couldn't sleep and old what's his name had turned off the TV and then the lights (just like always) - why he needs the TV off and the lights out to go to sleep I'll never know - I has plainly seen him sleeping to a golf match on Snday Afternoon in his Barkalounger - many times and anyhow I was wandering around and I took a righty down a dark hallway off the kitchen chasing a malted milk ball that was trying to get away when I probably should'a took a lefty and I made an incredible discovery.

We has a garage!

And our garage has a shop that is full of tools!

There is weapons of destruction out there that you wouldn't believe. I has a hard time believing we has all that stuff and evidently there isn't much I won't believe - I guess I forgot to mention that lady in Nigeria never had a husband that died leaving her with 16 billion dollars that she wanted to give to me if I would give her Mumzie's Visa Card (16405-89923-46980) and pin number (7723), expires 10/13.

I'm not sure where Da

That's his name! His name is Da!

Anyhow, I'm not sure where Da got all the tools in the shop in the Garage, or why  he got them, but I plan on making good use of them.

Here is one that is very useful, for things other than using to whack fluffy kitty, although it would be pretty good for that, I'm thinking. Just look at this bad boy. Does you know what this thing is?

Neither did I, but I looked it up on http://www.strangetoolsinda'sgarageshop.com/ and it is called a bolt cutter.

You wouldn't believe what you can do with this puppy.

I know you guys need training, so lets get a few basics down before

I opens up the wonderful world of bolt cutting to you.

A bolt cutter has a working end:

and a Grips end 

Both of them is kind'a black, and they is connected by a pair of yellow handles. That's all the technical stuff we need to put this incredible tool into service.

So, What's a bolt cutter good for?

(Duh)

It/They will forevermore cut through stuff

and are helpful when

 

You can't find Da's bike cable key

or

You can't figure how to get through that gate that never seems to be open.

(I sure hope Yelow Dog comes back before the neighbors miss him. He sure seemed happy to make an escape, so I'm thinking he may be half way to Oklahoma by now.)

Sometimes a chain just needs cuttin

Freedom! Run Horseys!

I has a word of caution though

Stay away from Da's ring

oops... just like butter...